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1. What is your occupation right now?
I'm unemployed, you ass.

2. What color are your socks right now?
I'm not wearing socks, because I'm unemployed and I don't need to wear socks.

3. What are you listening to right now?
South Park with commentary. I can watch South Park because I'm unemployed.

4. What was the last thing that you ate?
Yogurt and Special K. I could probably have eaten that if I had a job too.

5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Yes, though I'd rather drive a vehicle.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
The HR recruiter from St. Jude Medical

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Yeppers. She has a job.

8. How old are you today?
The same age I'd be if I had a job.

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
Naked Jell-O wrestling. You can only get it by Satellite.

10. What is your favorite drink?
Red Bull.

11. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yes, but not to get a job.

12. Favorite food?
Hard to say at this point. Chinese dumplings are yummy.

13. What is the last movie you watched?
The Resurrectrionist. Ugh.

14. Favorite day of the year?
Payday.

15. How do you vent anger?
Through a blowhole in the back of my head.

16. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Either Mr. Machine or the Erector set.

17. What is your favorite season?
Halloween

18. Cherries or Blueberries?
Yes please.

19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?
Well, it really depends on why I'm e-mailing them.

20. Who is the most likely to respond?
Respond to what?

21. Who is least likely to respond?
The dead?

22. Living arrangements?
Yes. House, dog, cat, stuff.

23. When was the last time you cried?
A couple of days ago, seeing a breakthrough in brainwave interface technology for helping the paralyzed and those who have lost limbs.

24. What is on the floor of your closet?
An air conditioner.

25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to?
Sending to what?

26. What did you do last night?
Cleaned. Slept. Petted critters.

27. What are you most afraid of?
Destitution.

28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers?
Spicy Cheese.

29. Favorite dog breed?
Mutt.

30. Favorite day of the week?
Probably Saturday.

31. How many states have you lived in?
Three in which I have resided.

32. Diamonds or pearls?
Silicon.

33. What is your favorite flower?
Colitas.

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