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How to not get a date

http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/

Having a hard time in the grocery store - 36


I have alot of grocery shopping to do and the last time I went there I felt uncomfortable pushing the cart around because women are supposed to push the grocery cart. So being a bachelor I’m trying to stack everything in my arms and it isn’t working very well and I’m dropping things and grunting through the store hauling way too many groceries by hand. It was awful and I had to come back two days later and dop it all over again. (I’m a big fellow who eats alot of food.)

I’m looking for an attractive lady to push my cart in the grocery store while I shop. You must be attractive because people will think you are my wife or girlfriend if you are pushing my grocery cart. And while I do enjoy being a bachelor and dating freely, if you are really good at pushing my cart I’d be glad to keep you around for a while and possibly even sleep with you or take you out for burgers. So please no one older than 25 and no larger women.

As compensation for your time I might buy you a few loaves of bread or something from your grocery list.

Please reply with a pic so I can see if you are good looking enough to play the part of wifey while I shop. Also I’m white so unless maybe you are some kind of Asian it wouldn’t look right for you to be pushing my cart around for me. People would talk if I was with a darker girl. Also I usually date women with a bigger bust so unless you have a really pretty face and a really petite figure you should probably have a decent bust size. And no kids please, I wouldn’t want anyone thinking they were mine. Plus I just don’t date women with kids for obvious reasons.


hot chic from ohio in my computer class - m4w - 33


hi we r in same computer class at [abbreviated college name] ..u said u were form ohio , mason i beleve near kings island..i think u r the most sexiest woman i have ever seen .. the way ur shirt help tight against ur body showin ur nice firm tits.. and ur sexy body i would love ot lick up and down… if u think u know who u r what was the teacher jking about if u ever hung out withthe guy that did what at kings island?.. hit me up maybe we can hook up discreetly and talk or whatever


1/9-1/20: daughter and friend for sale


just bring cash alot of it. not that their worth it but i am at the end of my rope car is totaled DAUGHTER fired from subway cause car is totaled pimple on her nose bumped my HEAD was fine before they got here selling totaled car on craigslist.AFTER I FIGURED THE CAMARA OUT FOR 2.5 HOURS, BOYFRIEND NOW ASLEEP COME GET THEM PLEASE!!!!*** 1999 MONTE CARLO GOOD ENGINE MAKE OFFER xxx-xxx-xxxx


Broke assed limp *ick burned out washed up dead beat stoner seeks


youngish female for making babies and living happily ever after..


Cyborg in exchange for free rent!


I am a biotechnology grad student in search of housing. A back guest house would be perfect. In exchange, I will build you a cyborg. In case you do not know, a cyborg is a biologically based animatronic being, in other words half human and half robot. Since current science is still catching up on this technology, it may be a few years until your cyborg is built. It might help if you had a pet dog or cat that I could practice with. For any reason if you die before the cyborg is finished, I promise to use your remains in the project, in order to fulfill my debt to you. Since you will be the first person to own/be a cyborg, this should be considered a very generous offer. Must have dishwasher in guest house. Please, serious replies only.


Adult toys


My collection of adult toys is woefully poor. If you have some toys you no longer need give me reply.


DAMN RIGHT…. I ALREADY KNOW - 29


IF UR ELEGANT,SEXY& INTELLIGENT,IF UR CONSIDERED A DIME FELINE,THEN POSTING IS FOR U, CAUSE UR THE REASON IM ON CL AT THIS TIME. IF UR DANGEROUSLY FLAVORISH,SO FLY THAT ONCE SEEN MY EYES WOULD SAVOR IT,WHERE THERE ONCE WAS HESITATION,IM DONE WITH ALL THE PLAYIN,NOW IM CONIDERING LOOKING FOR U AS MY ONLY FAVORITE. IM FINDING MYSELF WANTING THAT PERFECT MATCH,U KNOW WHERE OUR HEARTS & SOUL BEGIN 2 MATCH & HONESTLY HONEYDROP PLEASE TELL ME WHATS “EFFIN” WITH THAT? ON A MISSION 2 BUILD WITH U ON SOME REAL “S**T, SOME HEARTFELT & POSITIVE ISSUES, USING TRANQUILITY & STABILITY TO CARESS UR SPIRITUAL,B4 EVEN THINKING ABOUT THE PHYSICAL.BECAUSE THEN R CONNECTION WILL B A REFLECTION OF MY CONSTANT & STEADY STRIVIN, SO THAT U WILL KNOW THAT IVE NEVER STOPPED REALIZIN,THAT U TRULY R & ALWAYS WILL B 2 ME ,MY PRINCESS CUT DIAMOND.SO UNTIL I CAN USE MY VOCAL ORGANISM,I HOPE IVE LEFT U WITH JUST A HINT OF MY SINCERE MAGNETISM,ILL END THIS POSTING SINCERE & COMPLETED STR8T FROM THE HEART WITH ZERO HYPOCRITICAL SENTENCES,JUST A REFLECTION OF MY HEART & WHAT IM ABOUT,IN CLOSING JUST WHAT MY TRUE ESSENCE IS.IF THIS POSTING SPEAKS 2 U & UR FEELING THIS,PLEASE LEAVE ME A MESSAGE.{ ME & U AGAINST THE WORLD BABY!!!}

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
quetz
Feb. 2nd, 2009 11:07 pm (UTC)
bwahahahahaa
scotia_girl
Feb. 2nd, 2009 11:16 pm (UTC)
"Broke assed limp *ick burned out washed up dead beat stoner seeks youngish female for making babies and living happily ever after.."

At least this one is direct AND honest...
purplesquirrel
Feb. 2nd, 2009 11:30 pm (UTC)
Yikes!
lexinatrix
Feb. 2nd, 2009 11:34 pm (UTC)
I love the rapper's post. That's amazing.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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