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1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I was named both before and after people.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I really don't keep a log of times that I cry. I don't necessarily cry like bawling tears, but I've been in some really atrociously disappointed moods lately.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It's okay, but there's no real chemistry. I think we could be friends, but I doubt that there'll be any romance in the future.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
I don't divide meats into specific meal categories. Chicken is usually pretty good any time.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
I don't think so. I'd have to check the freezer.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
If I were another person, the chance that I would have actually met me would be pretty small. And of the people who have actually met me, not all of them have become friends. I think that's a "maybe".

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
No.

8. DO YOU HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Just mine? They're probably around here somewhere.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I'd rather limbo. The drinking and flexible women involved in most limboing situations would seem to have a lot more chance of friendly whoop-de-doo.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
The one that's served to my by the hot chick I woke up next to.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
You assume that I take them off, and that they have ties.

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER?
Warm smell of Colitas. Rising up through the air.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
See #10.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
The morbid deformities they have, like that huge goiter or the bruising.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME?
Well, I haven't seen all the movies of all time, have I? So picking one would be an exercise in futility.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My inability to be perfect.

17. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
You assume I'm wearing pants and shoes.

18. FAVORITE SOUNDS:
Hmmmm... Rrrrr.... "Oy yeah! Yes yes yes yes yesyesyesyesYESYESYESAIEEEEEE!"

19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Cthulhu noises. Either that or someone is hungry.

20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
If I were a crayon, what would it matter what color I was? I wouldn't be able to change what I was, or whether I'd be eaten by a three-year-old.

21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Hmmmm... Rrrrr.... "Oy yeah! Yes yes yes yes yesyesyesyesYESYESYESAIEEEEEE!"

(I'm synaesthetic. Take it from there.)

22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE TO ON THE PHONE?
I honestly don't remember. Probably a recruiter-type dude.

23. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Professional women's hot tub competition, or the Swedish Bikini Team competitions. The Coppertone World's Cup isn't bad either, but it tends to be kind of greasy.

24. HAIR COLOR?
Right now I have black, several shades of brown, and a nice red. Nothing really lighter than that. I'll have to wait until spring when my next shipment of chloroform comes in to do any more harvesting.

25. EYE COLOR?
Depends on which jar.

26. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Not mine, no.

27. FAVORITE FOOD?
Chicken comes in high on the list. Veggies are nice as well. Fruits.

28. SCARY OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
There's a difference?

29. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Run Fatboy Run.

30. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
You assume I'm wearing anything.

31. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Considering it's early February?

32. HUGS OR KISSES?
They're both good starts.

33. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK OF ALL TIME?
Depends on what I'm doing. A 1972 edition of Future Shock doesn't work really well for raising the dead, and a Betty Crocker cookbook won't help me change my oil.

34. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
I'm not reading a book right now, I'm typing this stupid quiz.

35. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
A mouse? Two mice? A mouse party? A totally hip mouse soiree?

36. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Probably some show. The hot tub competitions aren't until spring.

37. DO YOU VOTE?
Not every day.

38. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
In a fight to the death, the Stones. There are more of them still alive.

39. WHAT'S THE FARTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME?
Well, if home is where the heart is, I've never been far from my chest.

40. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Yes. Yes I do. Usually it's why I get served cereal in the morning.

41. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
In a hospital.

42. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
By that description, it would be someone in front of me who was facing me. I'm more looking forward to getting down, then getting cereal the next morning.

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