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1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I haven't looked in the mirror yet. It would probably be something like "Droopy! How did you get here?"

2. How much cash do you have on you?
I think there's a dollar in my wallet, probably a couple bucks in quarters elsewhere. Cash is so outre.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
Breast. There, are you happy now?

4. Favorite planet?
Ceti Alpha 5.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
I am apparently somewhat anomalous in that I tend to clear my missed call list quite a bit.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
I also don't really have ringtones other than the standard.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
Not wearing a shirt right now. I will be later; ask me then.

8. Do you "label" yourself?
Sometimes, when I forget who I am. And sometimes just for fun. Pulling the sticky tape off is oddly comforting.

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
Not wearing shoes either. Don't really go by brand.

10. Bright or dark room?
I like dark rooms where I can set up my own lighting.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Well, I nabbed it from bertine, and she seems fine.

12. Jimmy Hoffa?
Huh? Why does this sem oddly like the setup to a punchline?

13. What is your current desktop picture?
A very tiny graveyard, shot up close.

14. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching COPS and fiddling on the computer.

15. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"Can't drive to you... would love to."

16. Where is your nearest 7-11?
I haven't even seen a 7-11 for a couple of years. There used to be one down on 40th right across from the StupidAmerica, but they were bought by StupidAmerica so then there were two right across from each other. One is closed now.

17. What's a saying that you say a lot?
"Yeah, and monkeys might fly outta my butt. There goes one now!"

This generally gets followed by people moving away from me.

18. Who told you they loved you last?
I don't remember. Prolly Jane.

19. Last furry thing you touched?
The Sadie Butt.

20. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past three Days?
How many? What a weird question. Like how many types of drugs, or how many individual pills? Or are we talking illicit substances?

Hell, I'll say "pi".

21. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
Wow. I'm thinkin' this meme has been around for a while.

22. Favorite age you have been so far?
Did you say been or done?

23. Your worst enemy?
Evil Marmot.

24. What happened to number 12?
Ah, there we go. I'd guess that he's slabbed in concrete somewhere.

25. What was the last thing you said to someone before becoming Intimate?
"Hey, can you break a twenty?"

26. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret,
Pfft. Million bucks. Regrets are for sissies.

27. Do you like someone?
Yes, if you must know, I like quite a few people. If you're asking if I have some sort of secret crush, I will thrust my loins into the back of your head while shouting "Rue Brittania".

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