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Woke up to a wanting-to-go-outside pooch, and noticeably achey thighs. Didn't think much of it until I tried to stand up.

Ever worked out on a Stairmaster? Okay, now take that and carry it through about 30 hours.

I'm still wholly groggy and haven't had enough sleep for a hummingbirds left tit. Damn. At least I have a darling girlfriend with a hot tub and a desire to massage my thighs.

Oh, that's right, I don't have that. Well, hell.

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