Barb and I have an in-joke about finding hookers in Owatonna. It's become something of an in-phrase for something difficult or impossible-- "it's harder than finding a hooker in Owatonna".
So in a moment of mental ossification, I started looking for a hooker in Owatonna.
First of all, they don't exactly have a section on prostitutes in the yellow pages. I checked. The closest thing they have is an "adult entertainment" section with one entry that is up in Minneapolis for dancers for bachelor parties.
So I figured that a strip club may be the next best thing.
The closest one is in Nicollet, which is on the other side of Mankato. It's as far as a drive to the 'Cities would be. I did discover that the owner of (the former) Jakes opened up a new club in Bock, which is halfway to Brainerd. There is one in Cannon Falls, but again it's a fair distance away. There is a topless bar in Albert Lea, but I'm not going 50 miles just to see boobies. I want the full Monte, or the full Minnie as the case may be.
Adult bookstores: nope.
Adult entertainment of any kind: nope.
Apparently Owatonna has an ordinance that prohibits any adult-themed entertainment within a 50-mile radius. Finding any kind of adult entertainment is like... well, it's like finding a hooker in Owatonna.