I was just poodling through some LJ entries from last year after I got back to the Big Broken Box™. Read one that was almost word-for-word perfect for right now. Doesn't fill me with a sense of progress, yet reading some of the other entries make me realize that I have indeed made some progress.
The same themes keep coming up.
Prison release party. I've put it off because of the realization that "release" isn't the right thing, that what I need to be released from is a lot more than the house and my health.
The Big Broken Box™ is slowly emerging from its cocoon. I don't know if it's fast enough, as I think just the general decay of nature might be moving faster than my ability to fix stuff in a given time, but I am doing what I can. If I had a chunk of money, I'd probably hire someone to do the work just so I could get out from under it, but I don't have money to throw at it and I won't for a while.
Part of the process absolutely must include excavating the basement workshop area, and that's a high goddam priority. Doing that means that I'll actually be able to put stuff in a place that's designed for it, and will open up a pathway for cleaning the rest of the place up. Biggest hurdle to that is that it needs my involvement every step of the way to identify what goes where.
Right now, the movie is taking up the prime time. Big push to try and "complete" and get a release by June. After that, it's back onto the porch to get it resubmitted and back in play so I have an actual sheltered front door by winter again. There are some other movie projects kind of waiting in the wings, but I'm not exactly firmly convinced of their coming to actual fruition, at least with me. And really, I meed to move ahead with one of my own movie projects so I can highlight specific things I want to work on.
Love and Romance: ain't happening. It's like opening up an empty cabinet and hearing the sound of crickets, except all the crickets died of loneliness, so now you have a cabinet with dead crickets in it, and nobody wants that.
Likewise with sex/lust/affection. Dry and dusty as an old miner's cake pan, dagnabbit.
Realtor babe is coming over to visit and "look at" the house Wednesday night. Some cleaning will be had before hen, but the house is still broken. You can put lipstick on a pig, but that don't make her a heifer.