Wait, I don't think that's quite right. I was reading a friend's blog, and she was talking about dating younger vs. older men, and she commented about excitement vs. stability.
Way to make me feel old.
I think between the two, I'm probably more in the "stable" category. I don't exactly think of my life as exciting, and there is something of a world-weary aspect to everything. I may occasionally do exciting things, but the norm is more making sure that the pets are fed, the lawn mowed, and keeping my blood glucose levels in tolerable limits. None of those things is exciting or sexy, and by extension, I am neither exciting nor sexy.
There was a time when I thought I knew what I wanted in a life-partner. Wasn't all that long ago, either. Now I'm not so sure that I even want a life-partner anymore.
I have no urge to breed. I don't want to be a father, or to express my lineage. In a way, that is something that is very selfish: it's all about me and what I want and don't want, but it's also more of a way-of-life. Some guys are made to be dads, they love it with every fiber of their being, and they're good at it. I just have no urge, no desire, no biological imperative to be a daddy. It's just not there.
The ex believes that this means that I am broken. She can't conceive of not wanting children; the closest she can come is a understanding that I want something else instead of children. It's not really accurate, but it's probably close enough.
What I do like is pleasures of the flesh. There is a very good reason that my nickname in college was Lord Hedon. I really enjoy things of a sensual nature: sex, touching, caresses, massages, hot tubs, tasty food, good music, etc.
Let's talk about sex for a minute. My enjoyment of sex is pretty much recreational. I like sex as playtime, and I'm pretty much not repressed about it. I like doing a lot of things, and I can get pretty dirty. I want my potential partner to be a dirty girl and enjoy libidinous activities as much as I do.
In general though, dirty girls want excitement over stability. Or perhaps that is just my perception.
Other characteristics that I desire:
My number one dating rule is "never date the insane". That I had to develop this rule is pretty much a story in and of itself, but suffice to say that it's a solid winner. The problem is that not all insanity is immediately visible. Neuroses are fine, everybody has them, but you really want to know before she starts coming after your tallywhacker with a weed whacker.
Yeah, there's a big one. I think that integrity is the trait in a person that directly corresponds with how much trust I can put in them. It's more than just doing what you say you will do, it's adhereing to your personal set of ethics.
Not necessarily physical strength, but emotional strength. Physical strength is good, particularly if you can help lift lumber and building materials, but emotional strength for the trials and tribulations of life. Falling apart at every turn is not high on my list of turn-ons.
Passion & Creativity:
To me, these go hand in hand. I think that creative people understand passion, and they are much more interesting than sheep.
College degree is good. Bad spelling drives me up a tree. More is the ability to think, to actively question your beliefs, to be open-minded enough to understand that even if I don't agree with you, I love discussing and debating, and I'm freaking brilliant about a lot of stuff. You need to be, too.
If you can support yourself with your income, then that frees you up a whole lot to be a lot more independent and not beholden on me to support your ass (or your four kids and a couple o' kinfolk). Being able to combine expenses and share makes us both happier and more relaxed without having to give up independence.
Yeah, I'm no physical specimen, but I am working on it. Being with someone who would partner with me and do active things would probably help make being active more fun. And having a nice, firm butt in my hands makes me much the happy. (And yes, I do want my own firm muscular tushie. Working on that, but it's gonna be a while.)
There is other stuff too, but I think it's more in the "negotiable" category.
So what I'm looking for in a potential life partner is a brilliant, passionate, emotionally stable dirty girl with a great ass and a decent job.
Line forms on the left.
It doesn't seem like a lot to ask until it's all together in one place.