Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

Went grocery shopping tonight. Tried to keep it to healthy food, did a pretty good job. About 60% fruits & vegetables, some deli turkey, salad sauce, various hot sauces and salad fixins, and a bunch of coca-cola products. Got a couple of pies, but they're for a picinic this weekend, and not for moi. Did pretty well, collected it all in about 30 minutes, then hit the checkout.

You know how every once in a while you get stuck behind somebody at the checkout counter that seems to have everything go wrong?

Okay, woman in the checkout line. Two carts full of groceries, like overflowing full. Looks like she's buying for a month for a family of six. She's an eagle eye with a swath of coupons.

Every freaking item. Every single freaking item had some problem. Corn rang up at $14.95. The frozen chicken bag ripped open on the conveyor. Prices rang up wrong. Stuff got double rung, and she made the checkout girl go back and check it. Ramen noodles had to be rung up three separate times-- two full cases of ramen noodles, packet by packet. The manager got called four separate times for various issues.

I read a magazine. Did you know that Janet Jackson lost 60 lbs since the boobie episode? She's down to 120 now, and smokin' hot. And Halle Berry looks amazing in Versace.

Finally she's done. Good purchasing, she rings up to only $245, which is phenomenal considering her volume.

She brings out her checkbook. Somehow I know this is not going to go well.

Cashier tries to run the check. It beeps. She tries again. It beeps. The next cashier comes over to help, he tries it a couple of times. Beeps. They called the manager over, he tries. He scans his card, hits a few buttons, gets a little farther, then gets stymied.

At this point, he put the whole transaction in suspension. This was a good thing, as it let me check on through. I was nearly finished when he came back to let the lady know that he couldn't run her check because the routing number printed on the check didn't correspond to any known bank, including Wells Fargo (which was on the check). He was asking if she had a check card or a debit card when I was going out the door.

I packed up the vehicle. 25 minutes waiting at the checkout counter.

The woman came out a few minutes later-- sans cart-- got in her minivan and drove away.

I'm still trying to figure out if she was trying to pay with a bad check, or if she just had the worst luck in the shopping universe. I was thinking counterfeit check, but would they have just let her walk out like that?

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