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Jul. 18th, 2006

Several weeks ago, I decided to go off of the antidepressants. The idea was an experiment to see if I had learned coping skills enough that I could deal with depression and anxiety that way, rather than through medical means.


The Positive:
Indeed I have learned better coping skills, chiefly among them is patience. I still don't have all the patience in the world, but I have more than I did.

The Negative:
Unfortunately, it's not enough. Between losing the refi, tax and money issues, and general stress, I have become unnecessarily frustrated and angry. Today I recieved some news that really put me over the top, and I can't get it out of my head.

I'm acting irrationally, and far out of proportion. And that is a recognizable side effect of going off the antidepressants, which I've been watching for.

So I'm going back on them. It will take some time to get back to the kindler, gentler me, but I can't continue being like this.

On the other hand, the thing that put me over the top is a real issue, and one that I need to address. And it's not something easy, it's going to take time and money, and I'm not going to have the money for a long time.

Therefore, until further notice, Magic Marmot Studios is shut down.

If I'm currently working on your project I'll do completion, but I'm not taking on any new projects that would mean people coming to the Big Broken Box™. I will still help with other projects as my time allows, but on a limited basis.

It breaks my heart to have to do this, particularly at this time when the potential seemed so good. I'm trying to take it as a temporary thing, but right now it feels like forever.

Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
lexinatrix
Jul. 18th, 2006 04:16 pm (UTC)
For what it's worth, I think you're making the right decisions. It's best to only tinker with one mechanic at a time, not all of them at once.
magicmarmot
Jul. 18th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
It still feels like failure.
lexinatrix
Jul. 18th, 2006 07:56 pm (UTC)
If by "failure" you mean "short-term sacrifice for long-term gain" then yes. =)
magicmarmot
Jul. 18th, 2006 07:58 pm (UTC)
If I actually believed it was long-term gain, I'd buy it. Right now it seems more like cutting off a leg to keep from dying.
lexinatrix
Jul. 18th, 2006 08:35 pm (UTC)
I'd consider living with missing a leg to be better than the alternative, myself.
fairoriana
Jul. 18th, 2006 04:20 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry. Good luck.
sageincave
Jul. 18th, 2006 07:27 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you have a plan, even if it's not the one you wanted.

I'm sorry that your situation is so lousy. You still have a lot going for you, though.

Is there anything I can do to help?
magicmarmot
Jul. 18th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
At some point (probably post-fringe/fest), I'll probably have a marmot excavation party and be getting rid of a bunch of stuff and will need warm bodies to help.

Right now I'm pretty much flying solo.
sageincave
Jul. 18th, 2006 07:45 pm (UTC)
I'd be happy to help with excavation. The party sounds fun, too.
ignusfaatus
Jul. 19th, 2006 12:52 am (UTC)
what if its a big blessing in disguise, Marm? i dont think your overreacting. huge change is in the air.
inked2x
Jul. 19th, 2006 12:53 am (UTC)
I have no sage words of advice .... I am sorry .... If I can help in any way please let me know ...

*a hug for you if you want one (or two)*
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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