I know that it's not me personally, it's bad timing and circumstance. I know this in my head, but my heart is telling me that I have failed. And it's not the first time. Previous times have led to debt that I'm still trying to pay off.
Do I set my goals too high? Do I try to fly, Icarus-like, too close to the sun?
I feel like I'm good at what I do. But maybe it's the stuff that I don't do that counts for more.
Or maybe it's the difference between failure and defeat. Defeat to me means that you did the best you could against an opponent who was simply better than you. Failure means that you screwed up, you did something wrong and caused your own demise.
Of course, there really isn't any opponent. And I did screw up.
Nobody remembers the losers.