Had a sudden and very angry thought as I was falling asleep. All of the romantic (or even quasi-romantic) connections that I've made have been a lie, pure illusion, games where the players laugh at me behind my back. The thought and subsequent reaction were enough to jerk me wide awake with adrenaline coursing through my veins, and now I'm trying to calm down. I know from whence the feeling comes; something long buried, dug up in some deeper mental flossing. Why in the hell that would get dredged up now I haven't a clue, but it's echoing in my psyche.
I don't know anymore. I have this sudden wariness, this lack of trust that's pounding on my front door. Paranoia, maybe, or possibly truth masquerading as fear.
I'd ask if there was any such thing as stress-induced paranoia, but I wouldn't trust you to answer me truthfully.