Homevestors lady came by tonight. We went through the house. Best offer that they will make is essentially buying out my current mortgage, no cash out at all. Since that was only about 60% of my minimum asking price (and less than 50% of the "market value") , it's gone way down on the list of possibilities.
My remaining possibility is to get a home equity loan, do the roof and finish the front porch, then maybe try again next year.
Or pray for a fucking tornado.