1. You are in the Witness Protection Program and must invent a new first, last, and middle name.
Zamfir Douglas Coltraine.
2. You are in a threesome with two famous people, alive or dead.
Angelina Jolie (pre-baby) and Milla Jovovich. Or Mila Kunis, any two of the three.
3. You are in charge of naming your new band. What's the name of the band?
Free Beer Tonight Only
4. You are going to get a free tattoo. What is it and where do you want it?
Zombie eating a pin-up girl, probably upper arm
5. You are being forced to listen to one song over and over, and infinitum, as a form of torture.
6. You are leaving your state/province. What province/state do you move to?
7. You are leaving your country, where would you move to?
Vancouver, or Australia
8. You get to choose one book as the best ever written. What book do you choose?
9. You get to choose one movie as the best ever made. What movie do you choose?
Zombies vs. Strippers
10. You get to spend one day each as a bird, an insect, and a mammal. What bird would you be?
11. You must relive one year of your life. Which would you like to relive?
The best one.
12. Which would you least like to relive?
13. You have a time machine that will take you backwards anywhere from 1800 to the present. What decade do you most want to visit?
Cripes. All of 'em.
14. You must choose to go skydiving or very-deep-sea diving.
15. You get to return to the past and have a sexual encounter with a rock star who is no longer alive. Who do you pick?
I can't think of many dead female rock stars. Maybe Janis Joplin if I was seriously drunk.
16. You get to be a contestant on any game show, airing today or in the past. What show do you want to be on?
Match Game, or The Gong Show.
17. You are given $1 million but you must give it all to one charity. What charity do you choose?
A no-kill animal shelter.
18. You must ban one word from the dictionary and all usage, to be no longer uttered or written. What word do you choose?
the. Fuck with everybody.
19. You can have 100 million dollars tax free but if you take it, you'll die at the age of fifty. Do you take it?
Not until I was 51.
20. 5 random things about me:
1.) I have an alien abduction scar.
2.) I've had plastic surgery.
3.) I've done some 2500 radio commercials.
4.) I've been in a national TV commercial for Subway
5.) I've never been to Texas.