Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

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Crustaceans in a microbus.

I know that I talk a lot about the Big Broken Box™, but that's because it's pretty much the overriding point of existence in my life right now.

There's something of a parallel between me and the box. I'm working on the structure of the house, a lot of the exterior. I'm also working on my own structure and exterior with the exercise. Granted, one could take that as working on the interior as well, but I'm thinking of my interior as more of the mental schtuff.

It's a multi-year project. The box needs years worth of work-- more out of the affordability than anything else. If I had the money, I could hire contractors to do everything and be done in months. Of course, if I had the money, I could also do the plastic surgery thing and have large quantities of fat sucked from my body, but that's a different thing; I think the exercise is better, if slower. Certainly it's healthier. But it's going to take years to reach my final goal.

There's another analogue buried within this as well: I don't have to complete all of the work to actually let people into the house and be social. I do have to make some core changes in my behavior (and perhaps buy some new furniture). Likewise, I don't have to complete all of my weight and health goals to let people into my life again, particularly the womenfolk.

The hard part is determining when it's time. There isn't a set recipie for how this works, or one of those little pop-out turkey timers.

Hot Realtor Babe brought up the idea of returning to counseling. It's been a couple of years, and I could probably benefit from some long-term counseling sessions, but I'm resisting the idea because of percieved time pressures (I think they're actual time pressures, but I'll allow that I could be hiding). And I am feeling overwhelmed; adding one more thing on top of it all just seems like a really bad idea.

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