It is a marmot with evil red eyes, a magical aura, and a pirate eyepatch.
2. What's your current relationship status?
Interested. Holding pattern.
3. Ever have a near-death experience?
No, but I had a near-life experience once.
4. Name an obvious quality you have?
5. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
There is no song stuck in my head.
6. Any celeb you would marry?
Under the right circumstances, it's possible.
7. Who will cut and paste this first?
Gosh, I don't know.
8. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
9. Do you have a crush on someone?
Yes. No. Maybe.
10. Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
Maybe when I was young.
11. Have you ever been in a fight?
When I was young.
12. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Yes, believe it or not. Wearing a really big diaper.
13. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
The things that make them opposite.
14. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
A hot waitress.
15. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
No, I hurt myself intentionally enough to satisfy any need I may have.
16. Say something totally random about yourself.
I once cut my leg open with a chainsaw.
17. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
18. Do you wear a watch? What kind?
19. Do you have anything pierced?
20. Do you have any tattoos?
Not intentional ones.
21. Do you like pain?
No, I like intensity.
22. Do you like to shop?
Sometimes, though mostly for tools.
23. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
I think a sandwich.
24. What was the last thing you paid for with a credit card?
25. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
26. What is on your desktop background?
A picture with blue rays emanating from the center.
27. What is the background on your cell phone?
28. Do you like redheads?
Certainly. They're delicious.
29. Do you know any twins?
30. Do you have any weird relatives?
I'm probably the weirdest, but yes.
31. What was the last movie you watched? And enjoyed?
A Scanner Darkly (in the theater).
32. What was the last book you read?
I'm still reading Catch-22 in bits and pieces. Before that, an Orson Scott Card book (Children of the Mind).