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Well, I still have a job anyway

Wasn't exactly a shining report.

There are issues. A couple of them I take umbrage with, since I feel that they were improperly critical; a couple that are simply WTF?; and a handful that I agree with completely.

The ones that I consider improperly critical were primarily about not meeting schedules. What I brought up is that the schedules that I did not meet were ones that I did not buy into and that were imposed with my objection, and that I have considerable evidence that schedules that I did estimate myself I have been within a couple of days on-- better than five percent accuracy, which is freakin' amazing. I also had to make the reminder that an effort estimate is not a duration estimate: if I say something will take 40 hours, that does not mean it will be done in a week.

The things that I agree with are more philosophical. One of the biggest is having to do with communication and assertiveness, which I think partially stems from having been a contractor for ten-plus years. Suddenly I'm in a position where I not only have ownership of something, I have ownership of a major piece of the software pie, and I'm expected to pretty much become the supervisor and primary champion of this piece (which I really didn't know until today), as well as being the documentation and process guru.

Holy shit.

I'm also not good at multitasking. I've known this for a while: it's a big right-brain/left-brain switch, and I can't just jump between them. I need a plan to try and manage that better, and I think I'm gonna try dedicating a day a week to just documentation and process improvement. I don't know if that will work, but at least it will give me some structure to work from.

One of the WTF comments was that I tend to work alone too much, and that not everyone knows what I'm doing. I've pretty much always been in the if you want to know, ask school, but apparently it undermines the confidence of the team. So as part of that, I've suggested daily short meetings at least between me and the software manager; he wants to expand them to team meetings (which is just fine with me) as a "coffee klatsch" keep-in-touch kind of thing.

I also need to ask for help more. I tend to get locked in on problems when someone else may have a solution or be able to suggest a new approach. Thing is, that's a hard one for me: I tend to get really focused on the thing and lose track of time. Suggestion is that if I don't have a solution after a day, that I ask somebody else (the daily meeting works well into that, see?).

The good stuff: I'm freakin' brilliant, intuitively grasp a lot of stuff (but may not express the connections well to others), and have a passion. When was the last time that passion was part of a performance review?

So, you know, stuff to work on. Legitimate stuff, for the most part. Don't know how I'm gonna get to all of it, don't know how I'm even gonna approach some of it.

What the hell is this responsibility thing? And authority coming with it? I'm SO not used to this...


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 7th, 2006 07:53 pm (UTC)
dang, I was/am weak on the management/delegation thing.
but you, I think you're made for it. just takes some practice, maybe, some practical experience where you hear that you have the voice of authority.

I see it in you, anyway.
Sep. 7th, 2006 08:59 pm (UTC)
I dunno-- it's all kind of new. It's like suddenly I'm one of those guys with the gray hair that has an office (except that I don't have an office) and has to be all responsible and shit.

That's not really me, I think. That's somebody else who looks like me. Except I don't look like me.

Crap, I'm gonna end up all serious and shit.
Sep. 8th, 2006 03:49 am (UTC)
I love you. Serious and nekkid.

your sister on the coast.
Sep. 8th, 2006 04:56 pm (UTC)
Warning: The following reply is COMPLETELY veering off the subject! ;-)

Love + Serious + Nekkid = Good
Love + Serious + Nekkid + Sister = Creep me out

This is the first thing I thought of...

From "Hot Shots" (1991) -

Topper Harley: "Playing to lose is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail with a blouse full of goodies, but it's just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who do nothing but play the banjo... eat apple sauce through a straw... pork farm animals."

Sep. 8th, 2006 04:58 pm (UTC)

Sep. 8th, 2006 10:08 am (UTC)
Okay, so it wasn't a glowing review, but there was some good stuff in there.

And, as you said, they kept you on.

Score one. Now enjoy the victory that comes from knowing you have a steady paycheck.
Sep. 8th, 2006 04:59 pm (UTC)
There were some items in your review that seem very constructive and complimentary. Take what you can from it. You still have a job. No matter what they say, that's always a giant checkmark on the thumbs-up side.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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