Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam


Dream last night, very vivid. Somehow my ex-wife came back into my life, and we decided to move in together, got an apartment, and started having problems, all in the space of a day. The problems were largely due to me not being responsible for some things which I probably should have been (like dishes and cleaning), and I went to a party with taucross, eldogo, and some others (the party was apparently in a rather elaborate treehouse that was decorated like a log cabin). Somehow the others took off to go to a different party that was being held at the house of a serial killer not too far away, and I was left alone.

It gets muddy after that, but I know that it descended into a bunch of nightmare anxiety crap about being rejected.

I woke up kinda pissed off. I've made some pretty significant strides since the days of yore (something like 20 years ago), and my portrayal in the dream was pretty ridiculous. I was an insensitive lout, and I am not that now.

So why is my brain messing with my head?

I suspect I know why, and it has to do with my becoming a real boy that I've talked about earlier. I'm genuinely adventuring into risk territory; not without caution, but adventuring nonetheless. Some animal part of my brain is screaming in fear.

I suppose it is the season for fear, but this is not why I'm here.

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