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Four in the morning: why am I awake?

This feels like a test, some sort of thing that I have to go through, trial by fire. Or maybe not fire, maybe murky muddy water, or quicksand.

Sometimes when you listen to someone and they tell you what they think is the truth, you believe them. Even when you know that you probably shouldn't. And sometimes it really doesn't matter, because there really is nothing that you can do one way or the other. It can still bug you, knowing that you've been lied to, even when the other person was lying to themselves as well. It can still hurt.

In the darkness, love doesn't exist except as a concept, the intellectual property of Hell's legal counsel.

Does this happen every year? The long dark days add up to an emotional hibernative state, a cranky, grumpy method of madness? Looking back on past years, it seems that this year is different, darker, finer, like a fine roast coffee twisted with a fine Belgian chocolate being drunk by an Italian expatriate with a panama hat and round sunglasses, full of secrets and death.

Frozen rain on the streets. It's quiet.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
kissmeimjewish
Dec. 28th, 2006 02:45 pm (UTC)
I was up then too... but i was up casuse i got a phone call :( from an upset boy :(9
magicmarmot
Dec. 28th, 2006 06:10 pm (UTC)
Upset boys (or girls) at 4 in the morning just aren't good.

Hope it turned out okay.
kissmeimjewish
Dec. 28th, 2006 06:26 pm (UTC)
no it isn't good... but i didn't upset him (thank g-d!) he was upset by his finace who was fighting with him :( but i just called him and everything sounded okey dokey! :D
magicmarmot
Dec. 28th, 2006 06:55 pm (UTC)
Fiances are overrated.
kissmeimjewish
Dec. 28th, 2006 06:58 pm (UTC)
marriage is over rated...as are realationships... i just need to get laid :D
magicmarmot
Dec. 28th, 2006 07:00 pm (UTC)
This is why they make batteries. :D
kissmeimjewish
Dec. 28th, 2006 07:44 pm (UTC)
lol... it's not the same :P
magicmarmot
Dec. 28th, 2006 07:56 pm (UTC)
Depends on the batteries. And what they're in.
kissmeimjewish
Dec. 28th, 2006 07:57 pm (UTC)
ROFL
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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