Turned on the TV, and Wife Swap is on. The swap is a tattooed freethinking atheist with an evangelical Christian hardliner.
It's like a freaking slow-motion car crash. There is carnage.
I know that it's designed to just be as freakishly outrageous as they can be before the censors kick in, but Jeebus. These are a pair of the most closed-minded families ever.
And now we approach the redemption phase of the program. Gosh Doobie, those freaks ain't so bad after all, am they?
Seeing as I don't have a wife, I can't really swap. And my idea of swapping is probably a bit different than what they have on this show. But okay, taking it for what it is, is this something that I'd attempt?
Uh, no. Not for a TV show.
So let's take the spectacle out of it. And I'll take an emotionally stable stripper for two weeks, Alex.
As much as it's very likely that I could stand being shaken out of my rut-filling reverie, I don't think that's exactly the best way to go about it. I could be wrong: maybe having two weeks of another man's wife bitching at me to change my ways is exactly what I need. I'll put it on the list right after body cavity search and tax audit.
