Once again I am out of money with which to purchase the finer things of life, like groceries and gas, and I'm gonna get sucked further down into the mire because of some purchases this weekend. Then there are bills that I am behind on as well as another house payment coming up in February that will keep me in the grunty section for a few more weeks, so no playtime for me this week. I should be able to coast until the weekend if I'm careful, though I may have to sell some plasma or something to keep myself in diet coke with lime (AKA the Life-Giving Fluid). I shall first attempt to dive into the couch cushions to dig up spare change, since my plasma tends to glow in the dark ever since the alien abduction episode.
Tonight the festivities will likely include the walking of the happy dog, doing laundry, and cleaning some crap out of the basement, though I will likely take a break to watch 24. I may not, as I really don't want to get into the habit of watching TV instead of doing other things that need doing, and the basement really does need doing.
(Hell, I need doing too, but doing myself just isn't quite as fulfilling, ya know what I mean Vern?)
I'm still trying to manage small bits of time into meaningful blocks toward cleaning & restoring the house. If I take into account the whole thing at once, I will become paralyzed with hopelessness. If I allow myself to just do small bits, I will actually accomplish something.
I am riding the ragged edge in the emotional sense, far more than I let on. I need to get back to a place of creativity, I need to get to a place where I can grant myself the freedom to do things again. I'm way too far away from that now, and I have a limited time to get there.