With spring comes the fancy of young men turning to thoughts of love and other somewhat less lofty debasements. My own personal thoughts I always tend to underestimate, thinking that this is the year when I just stop feeling the pull of the uncovered flesh, and every year it takes me by surprise and pulls me back in by the short hairs.
I'm not feeling it yet this year. It probably has something to do with coring for the winter and only getting the blood back to the naughty bits after it gets warmer, but I feel different this year, I think. Not enough accomplished in my head-sense of what I should have gotten done by now, not being good enough, not having done what I needed. Stagnant. Wasteful.
I'm coming out of a period of irresponsible behavior-- or at least I hope I'm coming out of it. Trying to be constructivist and build some structure, though I am not necessarily one for structure, and in times of stress I can ostrich badly. And as phases of irresponsibility go, this was not horrible. More annoying. Or perhaps casual, to steal a newly-favored descriptive term from mamajenzie.
It probably means I should cut down on the hookers and blow.
Winter is a tough time for me. I think it's a lot because of the Big Broken Box™ and the coldness which permeates its antifundibular walls which makes it more difficult to move. Combine that with respiratory sick, and the whole exercise thing takes a back seat, which only helps to push things into a more depressive state. And depression leads to irresponsibility, at least in Marmot World.
I think about this a bit in the context of Britney shaving her head (I said her head), and I think I get that identity-crisis need for change that leads to that kind of unfortunate decision. I've been considering shaving my head for quite a while, though now it just seems like a bad idea. I suspect that we haven't heard the last from the little shaver. I figure she's got a lot of crap in her life that she's trying to fix. Remember, when she started, she used to look like this guy:
But she had really good makeup and lighting.
And then I stop for a moment.
I think about the guy on the right, who has become an iconic image on the internet as much as the "god kills a kitten" critters. He's like the international symbol for "I'M ON THE INTRANETZ LOOKIN AT THOSE NEKKID PITCHERS YOU POSTED" or "I'M THE 14-YEAR-OLD TEENAGE GIRL THAT YOU KEEP TRYING TO CHAT UP". He has become the iconic representation for the Guy You Don't Want Masturbating To Your Image. And here I am contributing to that darkside of pop culture, when it's a bit of there but for the grace of god go I.
So to distract you, I shall leave you with these thoughts:
Corpse clothing. Go now.