Grown up meme?
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
1.) the house payment. It's the biggest by far, and it's a messed-up thing because of the house ownership and the loan.
2.) Gas bill. Fuck me, my house is not insulated wirth a tinker's damn.
3.) Filling up the 'Sploder. Fucking 'Sploder.
2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Romantic dinner? What the hell is a romantic dinner?
3. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
Huh. No, I made pretty good money on the deal.
4. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
I would have asked for more money.
There are several things that I would have done differently.
5. Name of your first grade teacher?
I don't remember. I skipped first grade after about a month.
6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Gittin hai with mah beeyotches, tubbin' wif the ladeez, enjoying some pleasures of the flesh.
7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
8. How many colleges did you attend?
Um... three. If you count Brown.
9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
It was the one on the left.
10. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you?
Odd question. Maybe the Caribbean, with Mila Kunis.
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Unh. Guh. Farzlenarf. Fuckin' cat. Damn, I probably should have washed that.
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I should probably wash that before it crusts over...
14. Favorite style of underwear?
On me? I dig boxer/briefs. On hot chicks, thongs.
16. What errand/chore do you despise?
All of them?
Washing windows, maybe. Or shoveling snow, though now with the snowblower that's become nearly fun.
17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
I already volunteer.
18. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in what exactly?
19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Probably Marvin the Martian.
20. Favorite thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
"Submarine Captain and the Slave Girl"
21. Have you found real love yet?
I did once. It was in the back of my refrigerator, but it was well past its expiration date.
22. When did you first start feeling old?
Well, I was arrested for it once at the retirement home... oh, wait, that's not what you meant.
When the playboy centerfold was younger than I was. Then when the playboy centerfold's mom was younger than I was.
23. Favorite 80's movie?
No way. I can't pick just one. Fast times at Ridgemont High or Return of the Living Dead are right up there.
24. Your favorite lunch meat?
25. What do you get every time you go into Sam's Club?
26. Beach or lake?
Either one, depending on mood. There are more topless beaches.
27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
28. Do you own property?
According to the IRS, yes. According to the bank, kinda-sorta.
29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Hookers & Blow.
30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
Okay, everybody here knows my taste in movies. What could I possibly be hiding that was more embarrassing than "Doll Graveyard" or "Dead and Breakfast"?
31. What's your drink?
Right now, Diet coke with lime.
32. Cowboys or Indians?
Either. They both pretty much taste the same.
33. Cops or Robbers?
Robbers usually go further when launched by the trebuchet, probably because the cops have more protective gear.
34. Who from high school would you like to run into?
Michele Betts. Damn, she was hot.
35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
Well, the 'Sploder is turned off, but KTLK is pretty likely.
36. Norm or Cliff?
They go together like Spam & Cheese.
37. 'The Cosby Show' or 'The Simpsons'?
38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Jeebus on a rubber crutch, you want a list?
39. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
Yeah, pretty much.
40. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Dead: Albert Einstein. Living: Milla Jovovich, or Mila Kunis. Naked.
41. Indoors or Outdoors
Context, people. Outdoors on a nice day.
42. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
As opposed to having to use one for its non-intended purpose?
44. Last book you read for real?
As opposed to all this fake reading I've been doing.
"Have Spacesuit, Will Travel". Heinlein. It was on top of the TV.
45. Do you have a teddy bear?
I have Da Bear. He is not a teddy bear.
46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
47. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to?
San Fransisco and the surrounding area.
48. Do you go to church?
Not in the sense you mean.
49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
New relationship, probably.
New career might be nice.
50. Just how OLD are you?
Well, I'm 45.