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Something of an emotional wreck today.

This is one of those "trough" days, a valley in the peak-and-valley rollercoaster of emotion that happens with depression.

Brain feels like mush, like thinking through Jell-O, unflavored and unspiced, dim and slow. I feel like I'm losing bits and pieces of memory, bits of how to be able to recall things, like it's at the tip of my tongue but I can't quite get there. So far it's not to the extent where I'm worried about early-onset Alzheimer's, but it's scary when it happens.

Depression and stress affect memory and cognitive ability too. As does diabetes.

Yeah, cognitive bump. Like making a simple arithmetic mistake in the bank balance. Whoops. Means that Christmas will be a bit on the skimpy side this year, like devoid of any prezzies. I'm fine with that myself, but I would have liked to be able to give some things to friends that aren't gonna happen in the soon.

Scrooge. Grinch. Bah, humbug!



( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 17th, 2007 07:34 pm (UTC)
come to the pac northwest.
we get more excersize cause the weather is better.

microsoft has a department for embedded programming too
Dec. 17th, 2007 07:42 pm (UTC)
yes. and your dogger would love it.

Dec. 17th, 2007 07:51 pm (UTC)
She'd love having more room to run and chase bunnies.

I'd need a job, one that pays extremely well. And a place to build an underground house-and-studio-and-manufacturing complex that's close enough to urbia to be convenient for getting stuff but far enough away that there is land enough to do what I need to do.

Maybe I should apply for dual citizenship. :)
Dec. 17th, 2007 07:52 pm (UTC)
you should.
i'd marry you if it would help.
Dec. 17th, 2007 07:57 pm (UTC)
oh i would have so many excuses to come visit
Dec. 17th, 2007 08:08 pm (UTC)
we'd have to adopt you.
Dec. 17th, 2007 08:23 pm (UTC)
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
Dec. 17th, 2007 08:54 pm (UTC)
There would be chores, young lady.
Dec. 17th, 2007 08:22 pm (UTC)
Dec. 17th, 2007 08:53 pm (UTC)
Oh dear god yes. That would be perfect.

Except for the $1.7 mil price tag.
Dec. 17th, 2007 07:47 pm (UTC)
I'm not good for Microsoft. What they call "embedded" isn't really, it's trying to shoehorn Windows into small consumer devices. My embedded is more like realtime machine stuff, controllers for industrial machines that have critical timing needs that is an area that MS doesn't cater to (it's too small a market for them).

I have thought about moving out there. It's not completely OOTQ, but there are things that I need to deal with here first, goals I have to accomplish to free myself from my own constraints.

And there's fear. Here I am a known quantity, or at least to a point I am. To go out there, I'd have to have some wider name recognition to be successful.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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