Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

Hey look! A post having nothing to do with surgery or recovery!

Something that I've learned in the world of relationships is that you don't need to be in one to be happy-- or more precisely, if you're not happy with yourself, you will not be happy in a relationship.

Points of interest:

1.) If there are aspects of yourself that you're not happy with, those are not things that will be corrected by somebody else.

2.) Asking somebody else to provide your sense of self-worth, or even a part of it is blatantly unfair to them as well as yourself.

3.) Giving control of your sense of self-worth over to someone else is freakin' scary. Why on earth would you give that much power over yourself to someone else?

But I want to feel loved.
No shit Sherlock. Everybody wants to feel loved. Love yourself first. If you can do that, if you're confident enough in yourself, then you're in a whole lot better place to be able to love somebody else.
You don't have to be perfect. I'm not (though I'm close). You're not. Nobody is. Allow yourself to be not perfect. Recognize your weaknesses, and if they're something you can change, work on changing them. Recognize your strengths and revel in them.

No, you don't get it. I want to feel loved by somebody else.
Yes, I get it. What you're looking for is validation, and it's exactly what I'm talking about with those three points above. Re-read them.

A relationship isn't an entity unto itself, it is an interaction with someone else, the key being that there is another person there. Poly relationships are included here, because at the core, poly relationships are still relationships between individuals. They are more complex just because of the number of people involved, but they are still about individuals.

Here's the big take-away:

You are responsible for your own happiness.

You have the authority to change things to make you happy.
Tags: note to self, relationshipship

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