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Feb. 27th, 2008

It continues. There is this phenomenon of post-surgical depression that is a common occurrence with this kind of surgery, and apparently I'm ripe for the picking. It's a different thing than the normal clinical depression for which I am taking drugs-- apparently this is hormonally based. Make all the jokes you want, I don't have a craving for chocolate.

Regardless of its source, it's something that I have to deal with, and it's from a difficult place, kind of hitting below the belt. Accordingly, I withdraw myself and stay away from any possible romantic entanglements, no matter how remote.

It's because I know I am vulnerable. This is a hard time because it's a whole lot like the rawness that comes after a breakup, the fresh hell when you just want to be held and told everything is gonna be all right, the monsters aren't real, there isn't a bogeyman in your closet or under the bed or monsters living under the stairs.

It's not a good place to be. It's not a good place from where to make decisions.

I'm not used to this. I'm used to control and logic and causal relationships where if a then b</a> is the rule of law. This is shaky ground, liable to give way at any moment and send me plunging into the abyss.

Other than that, things are fine.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Feb. 27th, 2008 06:17 pm (UTC)
sorry things are awful, it will eventually go away :)

here is me in a nurse costume to make you smile (my icon) i don't know if that would really make you smile or not, just being silly really.

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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