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Feb. 27th, 2008


It continues. There is this phenomenon of post-surgical depression that is a common occurrence with this kind of surgery, and apparently I'm ripe for the picking. It's a different thing than the normal clinical depression for which I am taking drugs-- apparently this is hormonally based. Make all the jokes you want, I don't have a craving for chocolate.

Regardless of its source, it's something that I have to deal with, and it's from a difficult place, kind of hitting below the belt. Accordingly, I withdraw myself and stay away from any possible romantic entanglements, no matter how remote.

It's because I know I am vulnerable. This is a hard time because it's a whole lot like the rawness that comes after a breakup, the fresh hell when you just want to be held and told everything is gonna be all right, the monsters aren't real, there isn't a bogeyman in your closet or under the bed or monsters living under the stairs.

It's not a good place to be. It's not a good place from where to make decisions.

I'm not used to this. I'm used to control and logic and causal relationships where if a then b</a> is the rule of law. This is shaky ground, liable to give way at any moment and send me plunging into the abyss.

Other than that, things are fine.

Comments

cleo
Feb. 27th, 2008 06:17 pm (UTC)
sorry things are awful, it will eventually go away :)

here is me in a nurse costume to make you smile (my icon) i don't know if that would really make you smile or not, just being silly really.

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