And I make a distinction between talking about something and actually doing it. Much like my April film challenge in which I tasked myself to "shit or get off the pot", promptly to discover that I almost immediately had to get off the pot and be gobsmacked by hubris. Which metaphorically results in me still being full of shit.
And this line of thinking led me to the next logical leap: why not make a movie about dating? I could go on some number of dates, like oh, say twenty dates, and make a documentary about how difficult it was to handle dating after being so out of practice.
Then the drugs wore off.
Jeebus, if I wasn't ready to make a movie, what the hell did I expect from a dating challenge? At least with the film challenge, I knew that I could get training DVDs and learn the software that I'd be using. But with dating, any training DVDs would be highly suspect. There is no user interface with dating-- or rather the concept of a user interface is nonsensical, as individuals are nondeterministic by nature: there are no tool tips, and pretty much any woman would be annoyed if I kept trying to access her help menu.
Though I really like the idea of every date having an 'escape' key.
What I need is something like a course or a book like Dating for Dummies. Pity there really isn't such a thing.
A while back, I threw out the idea of practice dating, in which I would date someone who I knew was already otherwise attached, thus taking off any social pressure to perform and be judged within the context of potential mating qualifications. I know I'm not alone in being put off by the feeling of being stalked like a springbok.
But I took some grief for that being a silly idea. I did it anyway, just without telling anybody (I'm admitting it here) and I discovered that for the most part I had fun, but it was highly dependent on the other person. Even within the confines of it not being a "real" date, there were expectations that became uncomfortable.
And I've pretty much stopped even attempting to date at this point. I don't feel ready yet, but Spring has arrived and with it comes the stirrings of humpy-humpy and other games, and it's making me think that maybe I should throw Mr. Stubby into the ring once again.
The bigger part of caution is reminding me that I have a number of household remodeling projects in mid-flailing, and I probably shouldn't be distracting myself with thoughts of luscious creaminess quite yet, but I'm willing to consider options. I might be missing out on something spectacular, anon?
Then again, it's probably not something that I should enter into with caution and trepidation, but needs lustful, boundless energy and wholeheartedness. Perhaps it's better if for right now I remain talking and not doing.