Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

So tonight while out on Walkies, I managed to pass by the GVP building, which has mirrored their windows, and I caught a reflection of myself.

Bear in mind that when I get home from work and prep to take the dog out, I'm getting out of my work clothes and into a T-shirt or two, and either sweats or something similar and comfy. And also bear in mind that I haven't bought new clothes yet, so the putting on a couple of T-shirts is out of necessity. And that I didn't shave this morning because I was running late.

The net effect: I looked like a bum. All of my clothes are way too big now, and they look sort of like they melted onto me.

Really, I've never been much of a clothes horse. I've kind of left the having a style thing to the folks in the big part of the bell curve, and just dressed for comfort, often going purposefully into the arena of bad taste if I knew it could push a button or two, but I've never looked like this. And I don't know what to make of it.

I don't want to buy new clothes right now, because I'm gonna be shooting past this physique quickly enough. The exception is underwear, out of necessity, and I'm probably gonna have to get some new pants and shirts before too long, so I'll probably peruse the big & tall store over the weekend or something.

But there's another gotcha: I've been invited to a party this weekend. Big-ass party, buncha people I don't know, and there promises to be "a lot of flirting" and single women. My mood as of late hasn't exactly been top notch, and after seeing Mr. Melty Homeless Guy in the mirror today, I'm feeling a bit off my game, ya know? Yeah, I know I should go, that it would be good for me and all that, but holy hell, I've not been so shaken up about my appearance since... I don't really remember when, maybe my wedding? 

I'm still thinking with the Fatbrain. I'm still used to grabbing the same clothes. And no, I'm not skinny by any means. I'm still not gonna be buying clothes off the rack at the Gap or Target or anything.

But There will be a time in the not too distant future when I will be able to have style.

That's about as foreign to me as haggis sushi.
Tags: fat, self-musing

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