Got home tonight with great expectations. Walked with the pooch to the hardware store and the pet store, came back with a 5/8-11 jam nut and washer and a 45 lb. bag of dog food and an empty dog. Hint: don't try picking up dog poop with a 45-lb. bag balanced on your shoulder. Did some experimenting with wire-brushing and staining cedar. Powerbrushing makes for a really cool texture, but boy howdy does it suck up stain. I think I need to check out a much lighter stain, and find an oil-based ultraviolet-resistant sealer.