Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

nubbly poot

Aside from a short nap, I managed to spend most of the day writing. It's a lot slower than I would like-- I finished one rough scene and started another. While I pretty much have the whole movie in my head, getting it down on paper is a much more cumbersome travail.

Sometimes I wonder how much information to share on LiveJournal. On one hand, it feels good to get some of this stuff out. Part of the process of writing it down makes me examine what is happening on a conscious level, king of forcing me to roll things from the subconscious to the conscious. On the other hand, it's fairly public, so I tend to filter things that are happening on a deeper level. For instance, I rarely talk about my relationships. That's easy: they involve other people, and I don't want to compromise them. So I talk about myself, which makes it harder. My inner boundaries are a lot less defined.

Trying to talk about my feelings is hard. I've not had a lot of practice understanding feelings and emotions; I was raised to believe that when something felt bad, you either went away from it or you worked through it if you had no choice. I've been working on understanding feelings, and I've come to believe that human thought processes work on a level that is made up of a synaesthetic blend of emotions, shapes, colors, and textures. These are the core building blocks on which everything is based.

That doesn't help me decide on what is too personal to share. Things like fears and neuroses are pretty much fair game: everybody has them, and can understand having them. Gross bodily functions may or may not, depending on just how bloody gross they are. Medical issues-- I have type 2 diabetes, so there are issues-- I try and talk about the effect on my daily life rather than the medical aspects. Intimacy... well, that's a tough one. I have some intimacy issues, but I don't really understand them enough to talk about them yet. And really, for anyone that that matters to, I'm by definition going to be with them, and they don't need to read about it here.

Maybe more later.

Wanted to go to No Pants tonight, but money and sickness say no.

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Tags: writing
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