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I'm being nosy again.

So here's a question for the ladies about relationships and sex.

So let's say that you're in a relationship, and that it's a heterosexual relationship. Your partner of some time dvelops an illness which makes him functionally disabled in the erection department, but he is more than willing to please you orally or in whatever way you would like except intercourse. He is still able to achieve orgasms, but not maintain a hard enough erection for insertion. Now think that the illness may be long-term and the damage may be permanent.

Would this be important to you?
Would you consider taking on another lover to satify your craving for intercourse?
Would you consider other options? If so, what?
Would you consider leaving your partner for (ahem) firmer pastures?

Feel free to post anonymously if you are wanting some privacy, but please let me know what you think.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 8th, 2003 04:40 am (UTC)
Difficult question to answer hypotehically with a lot of truth. I would totally depend on the relationship and the man involved. My logical mind would tell me that if I'm in a committed realtionship with him that sex would be important but there's piles of work arounds. Toys and such. I don't think I would go for poly just because I know for me it would be far too difficult emotionally. But there's also some medical procedures out there that would aid in acheiving an erection.

I dunno, I guess I'd say I'd really try everything before I ended the relationship.

But such a thing is easy to say when I'm not really in the emotional involveement of the moment.

Like I said, I could say no to the last, but in the actual situation I might act differently.
Dec. 8th, 2003 06:19 am (UTC)
I was in a situation where I couldn't have sex of any kind at all nuh-uh whatsover for three months. It was a long three months.

It made me realize that for me, sex and intercourse are shortcuts to intimacy, but not the only way to acheive intimacy.

And then I was the partner with problems, and I found that patience, humor, and willingness to spend time really make all the difference.
Dec. 8th, 2003 06:48 am (UTC)
If that happened to my husband, I would absolutely work around whatever the difficulty was to make sure we both got sexual satisfaction. I don't think it would fundamentally alter the way I see him. I would be highly unlikely to bring on a second parter. I would probably invest in a, er, replacement toy to be used together.
Dec. 8th, 2003 07:30 am (UTC)
Dec. 22nd, 2003 03:56 pm (UTC)
I dont' think intercourse would necessarily be a problem. As long as the sex drives remained compatible, there are ways and ways. Hell, a strap-on would be an option (providing it wasn't too emasculating for my partner). And as long as he could achieve an orgasm, I think there would be ways to make it work. I might have to ask for permission to have the occasional one-night stand, but that would probably be pretty rare.
The situation doesn't negate sex, it just negates one particular aspect of it.
Dec. 23rd, 2003 02:11 am (UTC)
I think a lot of the emasculation potential would depend on how you approached it. To start off, losing the ability to maintain an erection is plenty devastating. Combine that with an insensitive approach and it could be tremendously hurtful.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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