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alcippe, you can skip this one.

Yesterday I mentioned that I could be crossing my 100-lb mark unofficially by the beginning of August. At the time, I wasn't aware that TODAY was the last day of July.

Yeppers, this morning crossed the unofficial barrier. And when I was looking at my "official" numbers, I realized that the whole time I was comparing the wrong thing.

I weigh in daily. A lot of weight-loss programs will tell you this is a big no-no, that you should only weigh in once a week. My take on it is that I weigh in daily, the same time of day, the same conditions, and them I do an average for the week. That average tends to wash out the daily noise of water weight and other variations, and IMHO is a more accurate measure. Those are the "official" numbers that I use for the tracking.

Well, when I was looking at my comparisons, I realized I was comparing the weekly averages against the peak low weigh-in pre-surgery, and I should be comparing to the weekly average for that week.

In doing that, then the end of this week will be crossing over that line. Then it will be official.

It's not my party mark, but that's not too far of either. From my daily weigh-in, it's less than three pounds away, and that's in my daily noise band.

This is what 100 lbs. looks like:

Everything tells me I should be jubilant, that this is the thinnest I've been since probably the early '90s, that this is the healthiest I've been for a long time, that I'm physically capable of doing more now than I have been for a very long time.

And yes, I am happy about those things. They are huge.

But there's a more sinister part to the story. I used to derive a lot of pleasure from food that I no longer have a source for. I don't currently have a whole lot of sources for pleasure of that kind, or at least not ones I can do in public/at work/etc., so there is a constant craving... not for food, as that's been fairly decoupled, but for pleasure. Sensory pleasure. Chemical pleasure. I'm sort of like an addict who is jonesing for a fix, and I can't get one.

Second side effect is that there was a level of insulation between me and the outside world that is substantially less now. Socially, emotionally, and to an extent, physically... and now I have to put up or shut up. I'm a more involved member of the human race now, or something. I don't get to hide behind the body anymore. It's like another defensive shield is being dismantled, or eroded. Or melted.

And realistically, I still have a long way to go. Here are some pictures of what I currently weigh looks like:

Incidentally, rather than look at what my final target weight is, I decided to look at my final target Body Mass Index (BMI), which is 28. Wanna see what popped up as a 28 BMI?

I am highly amused.


Aug. 1st, 2008 01:34 am (UTC)
You'll get through the loss of your previous "comfort" crutches. I'm not saying it'll be easy to adjust but you'll find things to fill those voids or cravings eventually. Probably things that you'd never thought of before will find their way into your life. :) I'm sure of it. It's that akward growing pain tension you're feeling now, which is definitely normal under the circumstances.

I'm happy for you in reaching your biggest goal to date. Sounds like your house is finally shaping up too. That's such a terrific accomplishment! I've been working on mine, mostly just clearing out old clothes & belongings. It's amazing how different it feels in here! If I could just put that much more effort into getting my body into shape, I'm sure that would be great too. I've been too lazy. :/ But I've set a goal again, like I seem to do annually. Halloween. I want to dress up again & not be slightly pudgy in the middle. That means I'll have to do lots of cardio to burn the calories.

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