?

Log in

No account? Create an account

January 9th, 2003

Bleah.

Some amazingly low energy today. First of all, I didn't wake up until 2:00. After six months of getting up at 5:00 AM to drive to Owatonna, by body is rejecting mornings. This means that I am all screwed up, and awake at 3:00 in the morning.

But back to today. When I woke up, I almost didn't get out of bed because I was so lethargic. I managed to drag my ass out of bed and get showered, and after putting some Bad Frozen Chicken Patties­® in the oven, I managed to work up enough energy to crawl up the ladder and hammer a piece of trim back into place. Came in long enough to watch Judge Judy, then walked the dog. Part way through the walk, I almost started hallucinating, and had to cut it short to get home and lay down.

Not the flu. At least I don't think so. I was able to eat some chunky soup, and haven't been overly intestinally challenged, and I really haven't been overly social lately anyway, so I don't know from where I would have been exposed. I do have type 2 diabetes, so it could be related to my body's ability to process glucose, or it could be something else.

I am also taking antidepressant medication. Celexa to be precise. I've been on it for several months now, and the results are interesting.

First of all, the voices in my head have stopped screaming. I say that semi-jokingly, but the reality is that I was having a lot of panicky stuff going on, and one of the symptoms was obsessing over the bad things happening in my life. I'm also less paranoid; I noticed this when I was just at a local cafe sitting atthe counter, and I missed feeling like everyone was watching me. And Barb has mentioned more than once how much easier I am to get along with when we're working on projects together.

But there are downsides. My sex drive is diminshed. My creativity has changed-- it's not gone, but it is different. I can't describe how exactly; it might be the loss of obsession.

But now it's 3 in the morning, and I'm not sleepy at all. I'm not energetic; the thought of actually doing anything is abhorrent. Sitting and typing and listening to Soul Coughing is enough. I'm very warm, and I've had to open the window to cool off.

Gosh, maybe I am getting sick.

Barda lent me some of her industrial-sized comics to read. I got to see more of Hellboy, which I love-- the idea of motile, talking skeletons so turns me on-- although I would like to see a deeper story. And I have yet to read "From Hell".

Barb was nice enough to do a mass-rental of bad horror films so that I may be entertained and inspired. By a weird quirk, three of 'em are vampire-oriented films, which is kind of the core genre of Stone Soup. So call it research. That's what I'm gonna do so I can justify sitting on my ass for 15 hours watching DVDs and listening to commentary.

And hey, I just got a ping on my job detector. An embedded software engineer for a company that does digital film storage systems. Cool! Electronic resumes are so easy to send...

Silliness: in a fit of home-improvement-itis, I installed a motion sensor for the light in the studio bathroom. For those of you who haven't been in the house-that-is-the-perpetual-home-improvement-project, the studio is a large converted room upstairs, somewhere around 18 by 25 feet, with what had once been a closet converted into a bathroom, and badly. And no, I didn't do the work, it came this way. And it came without a light switch. For a considerable time, I had a light fixture that you had to turn on and off by tripping the GFCI test button; I eventually put in a secondhand table lamp that has a light switch on it, after I had to replace the GFCI because it was worn out. So anyway, I installed a motion detector, which I thought would be cool: the light would come on when you came into the bathroom, and turn off when you leave.

The thing I didn't count on is that the motion detector has a small reset period. So every three minutes, the light goes off for about five seconds. Which isn't too bad, except that I read in the bathroom, and three minutes is enough time for me to get really involved in the story.

I also added a rope light as a kind of night light. It's purple-- got it at a post-Halloween clearance sale-- and it's just enough to see by.

I like rope lights. I also managed to pick up a couple of orange ones at the same sale, and I have one up in the studio kind of outlining my control booth. It's really nice lighting: just enough to see by, but not so much as to be distracting, and the way I have it draped, it doesn't reflect off of the screen of any of the monitors. And it's really soft. No harsh shadows, which is very aesthetically pleasing.

I am planning on moving the control room over into the other room, so the major studio room will be available for shooting from one end to the other. It's probably a good time to start with that project soon, because it will soon be too cold to be working outside, and there is some heavy work to be done to make that happen, like destruction, carpentry, wiring, and such. Of course, some of the creative projects coming up mean the studio will have to stay together for a while.

And I think I need more comfortable furniture.

Online tarot card reading

For the sake of amusement, I had an online tarot card reading done. A java program. I'm gonna try and get this up on my website.

------------------------------
Your request for a Reading is
granted. Are you ready to begin?
>> yes
.

Do you wish to see the Future
for a male or female?
>> Male!

Concentrate on Him. Tell me
when your mind is focused.
>> My mind is focused
.

This Covers Him...

This Crosses Him...

This Crowns Him...

This is Beneath Him...

This is Behind Him...

This is Before Him...

Himself.

His House...

His Hopes and Fears...

What Will Come...

Shall I continue?
Yes
>> !

I'm sensing that conflict,
rivalry, and change are most
important for this person right now.

The Ace of Swords reveals the
presence of triumph, conquest,
and force around Him. This is an
excellent sign.

Strength indicates a change in
this situation due to opposing
forces of energy, action,
courage, and honors.

The King of Cups reveals His
aims and ultimate object in this
matter to be under the influence
of a responsible and helpful man
of business, law, or divinity;
and creative intelligence.

The World, reversed, shows that
inertia, stagnation, and
permanence have been deeply
involved in the situation from
the start.

The Queen of Wands, reversed,
indicates that the influence of
goodness, economy, and
accomodation is now passing
away. And...

The Devil ...a new influence of
ravage, violence, force, and
predestination is now coming to
prominence.

The Queen of Coins shows the
forces of opulence, generosity,
and security at work within
Himself. And...

The Tower, reversed, ...those of
oppression, imprisonment, and
tyranny, in the world
surrounding Him.

The Chariot marks His hopes and
fears in the matter as under the
sway of triumph, war, vengeance,
and trouble.

Finally, The Hermit reveals the
Culmination of these Factors
will bring forth prudence and
circumspection, but also lies
and corruption.

This is an Ambiguous Result.
Shall I try to get a definite answer?
>> yes
My mind is focused
.

Tell me when your mind is focused.
>> .

This Covers Him...

This Crosses Him...

This Crowns Him...

This is Beneath Him...

This is Behind Him...

This is Before Him...

Himself.

His House...

His Hopes and Fears...

What Will Come...

This Future looks Dark, shall I
continue?
>> yes.

I'm sensing that insight,
and spiritual growth are most
important for this person right now.

The Sun reveals the presence of
material happiness, fortunate
marriage, and contentment around
Him. This is an excellent sign.

The Knight of Cups indicates a
change for the worse in this
situation due to opposing forces
of arrival, messengers, offers,
and invitations.

The High Priestess reveals His
aims and ultimate object in this
matter to be under the influence
of mystery, wisdom, and science.

The Ace of Swords shows that
triumph, conquest, and force
have been deeply involved in the
situation from the start.

Death indicates that the
influence of termination,
destruction followed by rebirth,
and loss is now passing away.
And...

The King of Swords ...a new
influence of power, command,
authority, law and government is
now coming to prominence.

The King of Wands shows the
forces of a friendly countryman:
perhaps married, honest and
conscientious at work within
Himself. And...

The Queen of Coins, reversed,
...those of suspicion, fear, and
mistrust, in the world
surrounding Him.

The Fool marks His hopes and
fears in the matter as under the
sway of folly, extravagance,
intoxication, and frenzy.

Finally, The Queen of Swords
reveals the Culmination of these
Factors will bring forth
widowhood, absence, mourning,
and separation.

This looks Ominous. But it
indicates the probable outcome;
not necessarily what WILL
happen, only what is LIKELY if
no major influences are brought
to bear on the course of events.

Have the cards made a believer
of you?
>> no, sorry.

Why? Tell me more.
>> I just can't believe that things are that bleak .

What Do you believe?
>> I believe that the economy will be improving this year, and that job offers will be forthcoming
.

Believe, or know?
>> Believe
.

You just said:

I believe that the economy will be improving this year, and that job offers will be forthcoming.

...what did you really mean by that?
>> Isn't it clear?

Reading your fortune has made
me weak. I can't go on any longer.
God be with you...
>>

Tags:

Latest Month

April 2012
S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow