January 15th, 2003


Fait Accompli

Today I managed to get some things done, including learning some of the new features of my upgraded video editor. Cute and useful things like motion tracking and image stabilization. Didn't do any cleaning or organizing, but I do feel a little bit accomplished.

Also taking some time to learn a 3D program a little bit. Rendering a small animation right now to see if I got it right.

I'm also feeling a bit scattered. I have a lot of things going on right now, with no job to either get in the way or provide funding. And it's cold, so I'm pretty much stuck inside. So I have the cleaning to do, excavating part of the basement, prepping for installation of in-floor radiant heat, building a camera dolly and crane, clearing out the studio, moving the control room (after I redo the wiring and acoustics), fixing the ceiling in the dining room, fixing the wall in the kitchen, writing a cool computer program, writing a screenplay, writing and storyboarding commercials, experimenting with some visual effects, and designing some computer hardware.

Does that sound like a lot?

So yeah, I should prioritize. I know that the core cleaning probably has to come first. And then the basement excavation, because that's where the workshop and lab need to go, and that is where the primary storage space will be. Not having a garage puts a damper on storing stuff in the garage, and I really need to learn how to get rid of stuff. It's kinda like if I haven't used it in five years, do I really need it? And some of the stuff is really just crap that needs to be tossed out. And as a goal, I would probably feel better about myself if I could get that part of my life accomplished.

But it's work. And I'm highly unmotivated to work. Because it's work. And it takes energy, which I don't have in abundance.

I'd rather websurf.

Found a lovely site done by a writer from NY who posed as a 14-year-old girl on the internet looking for sex. He's published some of the chat logs, which are wonderful to read:

I particularly like the one about Cooter Joe.

Just when I think I'm making progress

This morning when Barb went to turn the space heater down in the bedroom, she noticed the faint burning smell. Turns out that the plug that goes into the wall had gotten so hot that the plastic melted.

Yeah, it's scary. Being as it's so cold, we're having to suppliment the house heat with space heaters, and to think that one of them could get hot enough to melt plastic leaves me thinking that a fire would be real easy with one of these things.

So I went to the hardware store and got new plugs and wire, and rewired two of them. Heavy-duty, with high-current plugs and 14-3 wire. After a little testing, I ran them for an hour on full heat, and the plugs never even got warm. So I feel a little accomplished, even though it took something like 3 hours to do both of 'em.

Then Barb got home. She had been doing bills, and came up with the bad news. We are not making enough money to cover our monthly bills. And we're already behind.

So unless I can either get a job soon or find some other source of income, we sink deeper in debt.

This is extremely frustrating. It isn't within my power to go get a job. I can push the resumes and surf the web and call old contacts, but when there aren't any jobs available, there isn't much more that I can do.

So I feel overwhelmed and useless.

I want to go somewhere or do something that will make all of this crap go away, but there really isn't anyplace that I can go, and most of the things that I can do are either unethical or illegal. I'm trying to stay away from that.

Maybe I'll try and sell some stuff on Ebay.