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January 19th, 2003

Patience my ass...

Barb did a Tarot card reading for me earlier today. Despite getting both The Tower and The Devil, it was surprisingly positive. Apparently I am destined for great things.

Today was a surprisingly low-key day. We took the dog to the dog park, and she got to run around and chase and play with other dogs, and do a lot of butt-sniffing, which is something she heartily enjoys. I also got to make friends with Elvis, a four-month-old husky pup who somehow latched on to me as being safe, and loved to hide between my legs. Other than that, I started to read an Orson Scott Card novel, which is pretty damn good so far.

I've been feeling kinda miflife-crisisy lately. I've been doing software and hardware stuff for over ten years now, and I'm really disillusioned with the way that I see the industry moving. And now that jobs in the industry are scarce, I'm finding it really difficult to work up a desire to work for anyone. But I don't have the business sense to have my own successful business.

Frustrating.

I think it's the sense of immediacy that comes with having to pay huge bills. I'd love to be able to take six months or a year and just explore. There is also the sense of risk involved with taking that kind of time away; the risk of losing everything, becoming homeless, vs. not taking the risk and wondering if it would have been worth it.

The cusp.

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