January 31st, 2003


Decisions, decisions

Long talk with Barb tonight.

It's been coming for a while. With all of the money problems, I've hit the wall. I'm tired of working for others and being at their whim, so my main goal has now changed. Rather than trying to find a long-term permanent position, I'm going ahead with plans for my own projects, with the focus on eventually having a business doing direct sales of those products developed.
I will still take jobs as they come, so not much has changed in the job hunting department, but the higher level goal gets me out of the dependency on Those Who Hold The Cards, and leaves me more in control of my own fate.

So I am effectively taking responsibility for my success. Which is ultimately scary as hell. Because truthfully, it could be out of my hands, and no matter what I do I will fail. But I will ultimately fail if I don't take the risk, and I need to do something now or sink into a pit of depression.

Downside is that it doesn't improve the immediate money situation, and it means that we will be underfunded for some time. It means that we may lose some stuff. We will definitely get socked with huge penalties. And it will take a long time to actually generate income.

Sounds lovely, doesn't it?
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