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July 9th, 2003

By the pricking of my thumbs

So yesterday I started off the day noticing that a couple of fingers on my right hand were a little numb, like they had fallen asleep. At first, I had chalked it up to sleeping wrong, but it hung around all day.

So I started looking for a massage place.

In Owatonna, there are a couple, but they were all booked. Back home, my usual masseuse was not answering her phone. I called around to a couple of other places that were also booked before finding one over on Hiawatha. Little hole-in-the-wall place.

By this time, my left arm was experiencing some numbness as well. No, not what you're thinking. Diabetes leaves your circulation pretty poor, and that combined with a lot of physical activity and stress made me extremely tight and my muscles just full of toxins.

The masseuse turned out to be pretty good. I told her what was happening, and she worked me over pretty thoroughly-- an hour and a half-- which made a pretty good dent. I could feel my arms and legs again, and the numbness is gone. And I can move my head!

I still like Liz when I can actually get an appointment, but this one wasn't bad.

I need to walk more. I've been not walking for several weeks, and I can feel it. Rain makes that sucky, as I very rarely walk in the rain. And it's supposed to be raining all week. Bleah.

So I sit. All stodgy-like.

You know, it's just temporary. I'll be busy soon enough, but in the meantime I think I may just enjoy the lull.

When I got home, Barb was in bed already, reading. I asked her if she wasn't feeling well, and she said "nope, I'm feeling fine, I'm just doing nothing. La, la la la la..."
It was quite funny really. I figure we have about the rest of this week before we have to kick in again and start doing *stuff*.

I finished a book last night. Finding time to read is an enjoyable experience. And I have to say that not watching TV has made for a lot more time in my life, which has so far been taken up by *stuff*. But *stuff* is stuff that needs doing, and doing implies action, which is really better than the inaction of watching TV, right? As long as I'm not falling off the roof.

Time is as it once was.

Dreams:
Dream I had while at Convergence. It's a continuation dream, which is akin to a recurring dream except it progresses.
In this dream, there is a haunted house. For some reason, I've bought the house and am renovating it, and I'm the only one who knows that the ghost exists. In the first dream, the ghost had taken up residence in the heating system, and it was angry. In this one, some time had progressed, and the ghost was still angry but somewhat mellower, and the house was actually coming along nicely. I only remember bits and pieces: there is some sort of a tunnel in the basement that leads to a series of spooky caves, and a lot of the wood on the front veranda was rotted and needed to be replaced.

I think that the house represents me somehow. It makes sense within the context, that the old house is becoming renewed as I am becoming more health conscious, that the rotten front porch needs to come off, and my "front porch" needs to come off, and the spooky caves... well, I'm not entrirely sure about that one. There is a lot more to the imagery which leads me to believe it's something more, as there have been dreams that deal specifically with the caves and a destination that must be reached, but that is best left for another time.

But what about the ghost? What does the ghost represent? It is a disembodied spirit, so having no dream icon, I take it as a message rather than a representation. But why so much hostility and anger? What is there inside me that needs to express that level of anger at my trespassing into its territory? Or is it something else entirely?

I just don't know.

Another dream I had was where I was selected to be the lopve interest in a film that was being made. It was a small part with no lines, and I was killed rather quickly, but it was a decent size movie, and the actress was all famous and smack. She kept making a point of telling me that she wasn't actually in love with me, that it was all acting-- to the point where it was just annoying. Yeah, already, I know that, but it's acting, right? So let's just do the scene.

I'm really confused by this one. The actress wasn't a recognizable real person, so dream icon representation of a concept makes sense. But what concept? Unrequited attraction? That I may be giving the impression to someone that I'm attracted to them when I'm just being friendly and flirting? That someone (a professional) may be taking me (an amateur) not as seriously as I think I deserve?

Acceptance. Adoration.

I was told at the convention by someone I had just met that I have charisma.

Huh.
Can someone please remove this spike from my head?
Of course. Why should I get a copy of the communication protocol? I'm only the one who is PROGRAMMING THE DAMN THING!!!

Sleepies

Driving home tonight I had the windows wide open. About 75 MPH. Suddenly a piece of something flew into my left eye. I think it may have been a piece of pepper, because it stung like a sonofabitch. Both eyes closed. I kept trying to open just the right one, but the pain was tremendous, and I was barely able to see the cars ahead of me.
I managed to pull over after a couple of miles-- which was scary as hell-- and get the crap out of my eye. It still aches a little, but holy crap that was frightening.

About 20 minutes from home, I was overcome by sleepies, and when I got home, I laid down on the bed. I was instantly cuddled by attention-starved pets, and promptly fell asleep.

So much for writing.

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