July 21st, 2003


Oodles of poodles with noodles


Didn't get to sleep until early this morning, then the alarm went off at 5:00. I snoozed until quarter to six, then I had to get up to finish packing the truck. Less stuff this time: I decided not to bring the boom box, as I used it so little last week it just wasn't worth it. And me being without ready tunes is like a sign of the end of the world.

So, I'm on my second cup of coffee, and a little bit of squirrel mix and twigs-n-berries crunch for breakfast (no, really, have you tasted spelt?) and I should be good to go.

The weekend went well, for a gotta-relax weekend. I think the highlight was getting in several hours of Wolfenstein, which I won't see again until the weekend. Sunday was a full-but-not-rushed day, and we managed to fit in a matinee of Finding Nemo. It didn't rock my world, but it was a good afternoon movie (Mine? Mine?). I love Pixar, and have for a long time. Back about ten years or so ago, I was talking with those guys fairly regularly about sound-to-picture stuff, and they sent me a christmas present of a tape of their animations. It's a little dated now, but still amazing stuff.
And it was fun seeing the previews available in a G-rated movie. New Pixar/Disney film: The Incredibles. Preview was a hoot.

Since we went to Block E, we ate at the Applebees there, and had one of the worst waiters in existence (John). It was soon afterwards dubbed the "Male Pattern Baldness" Applebees, as it seems that each restaurant has a theme. The one in St. Louis Park has been dubbed "Gaypplebees".
I like Gaypplebees a lot. It's friendly and fun, and the food is good. But MPBA in Block E is leaving me a little bit cautious-- there seemed to be a lot of attitude happening and outright bickering among the waitstaff and management, and the food was sub-par. Maybe it was just that day, but it was a bad first impression.

Set upon by a feeling of wooziness on the way home, I ended up in bed again. Woke up at 8:30, in time to finish packing my bags and the cooler, then a last-minute setup of the Sega Genesis for Barb so she could play "ECCO" while I was gone. That involved a search for all the parts-- it's been a while.
And then a last-minute e-mail check, and to bed. 11:30. Crap. Then I couldn't sleep. Double crap.

So this morning is a little through-the-looking-glass. And I have to have a brain.

And the coffee is saying "Drink Me".

  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy


It's monday. It seems that an inordinate amount of time is spent referencing mondays, even on not-mondays.

I've managed to get to a stopping point a little earlier than I had planned. The boss is gone, so I can't really hit him up for the details of the next step, so I'm doing code grooming: little nitpicky detail about coding conventions, commenting, little cleanup bits here and there.

And my mind is wandering...

I feel odd. Like I'm not myself, but instead somebody else. Someone who codes for a living, and goes on business trips, someone whose life is simpler and cleaner and more *boring* than what I know is really mine.

In synaesthetic terms, it feels rounder, cooler, more of a blue-green, and shinier, almost metallic. It has a kind of substance, thicker and less lively. Oddly, more confident, though it seems to be more of a confidence born out of ignorance.

My real life is much more threaded. It has the firey color of hot pepper sauce, a blend of textures combined too small to make out a single one, but generally more organic like cotton, and splayed out with tendrils all over the place. It's much more like cloth, soft and comforting, and with a sense of wonder and awe.

It seems to be akin to a choice between style and substance, between looking good and being comfortable. I'm all about the comfortable part. :)

To me, it's more a matter of where I want to put my energy. If I'm comfortable, I'm more likely to be better able to perform my best. If I'm conscious of style, or uncomfortable in my clothes, it detracts from my ability to do the best I can. It's not all or nothing-- I can certainly understand style, and I do have an eye for composition-- but for me, it's substance first.

So something is bothering me, and it's being elusive. I understand that I'm bothered, but I can't put my finger on it. Every time I try, my brain goes looping around on something meaningless. It's distracting, which I suppose is the point.

I feel like I'm missing something. Some connection I'm not making. Some happy thing.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative