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December 3rd, 2003

I was having a discussion with a friend of mine last night about attraction. She is bisexual, and finds herself more attracted to women, but is more likely to be in a relationship with men. She is also a serial non-monogamist who is currently in a relationship (for the last two years) with a married man who hasn't told his wife. And although their relationship is supposed to be open, he is "uncomfortable" with her dating another man.

And I didn't offer to tell her to dump his ass. I think she's on that track already, as he has supposedly been going to divorce his wife for almost two years, and she finally gave him an ultimatum with a deadline. We will see if she keeps to it; I suspect she will cave in because she's in love.

And oh yeah-- he has a kid with the wife.

You know, I've seen the scenario before, but there are some real differences this time. The girl in question is very attractive and intelligent, and would have no problem getting another guy (or girl). I'm beginning to suspect that all appearances aside, she has issues of self-esteem and confidence.

And I am of course attracted to her, though a relationship is not in the cards... too much of an age difference, and I'm not her type.

But the discussion did bring around some interesting questions, like why are there so many more bisexual women than bisexual men?

And her attraction to women is based more around physical beauty, while men she finds attractive more for intelligence and humor. Which is not all that uncommon if you think about it, because women have historically been objects of attraction much more than men. Makeup, hairstyles, many more clothing options, the babes they have many more tools for bait than the male counterparts.

But there is something more there as well. In general, the shape of a woman is more aesthetically pleasing than the shape of a man. Women are more curvy, and they blend together, while men tend to be straigther and look like a mishmash of things thrown together.

Of course, some of us look like jello in a trash bag.
Your Brain Usage Profile

Auditory : 25%
Visual : 75%
Left : 35%
Right : 64%


Rob, you possess an interesting balance of hemispheric and sensory characteristics, with a slight right-brain dominance and a slight preference for visual processing.

Since neither of these is completely centered, you lack the indecision and second-guessing associated with other patterns. You have a distinct preference for creativity and intuition with seemingly sufficient verbal skills to be able to translate in any meaningful way to yourself and others.

You tend to see things in "wholes" without surrendering the ability to attend to details. You can give them sufficient notice to be able to utitlize and incorporate them as part of an overall pattern.

In the same way, while you are active and process information simultaneously, you demonstrate a capacity for sequencing as well as reflection which allows for some "inner dialogue."

All in all, you are likely to be quite content with yourself and your style although at times it will not necessarily be appreciated by others. You have sufficient confidence to not second-guess yourself, but rather to use your critical faculties in a way that enhances, rather than limits, your creativity.

You can learn in either mode although far more efficiently within the visual mode. It is likely that in listening to conversations or lecture materials you simultaneously translate into pictures which enhance and elaborate on the meaning.

It is most likely that you will gravitate towards those endeavors which are predominantly visual but include some logic or structuring. You may either work particularly hard at cultivating your auditory skills or risk "missing out" on being able to efficiently process what you learn. Your own intuitive skills will at times interfere with your capacity to listen to others, which is something else you may need to take into account.

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Comments:
I find it interesting that a test that is predominantly visual makes some guesses as to my auditory acuity. I don't seem to have any problem with auditory cues whatsoever, but the rest of it is pretty accurate.

As for the left-right brain thing-- I generally switch off depending on the types of project that I'm working on and for how long.

http://www.mindmedia.com/brainworks/profiler

(thanks to spacebug for this one)
LONDON (Reuters) - An Indian investigative journalist has won little-coveted Bad Sex in Fiction Award for a turbo-charged account of a lovers` tryst that likens their amours to a speeding Bugatti.

Aniruddha Bahal, who posed as an arms dealer to expose an Indian military bribery scandal in 2001, flew to London to receive the prize from rock singer Sting before a 500-strong audience on Wednesday.

Now in its 11th year, the dubious honour is awarded by the Literary Review magazine for the most inept description of sexual intercourse in a novel.

Bahal beat rival nominees including John Updike, Paul Theroux and Paulo Coelho, thanks to a passage from his novel "Bunker 13".

Bahal`s hero says he feels like an "ancient Aryan warlord" after discovering a Swastika shaved into an intimate part of his female companion`s anatomy.

As the temperature between the two rises, Bahal shifts gear in a blur of motoring metaphors.

"She picks up a Bugatti`s momentum. You want her more at a Volkswagen`s steady trot.

"Squeeze the maximum mileage out of your gallon of gas. But she`s eating up the road with all cylinders blazing."

Previous winners include AA Gill, Sebastian Faulks and Melvyn Bragg.

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