April 9th, 2004

insane

Can't sleep.

Having much angst and discomfort and bad dreams (like having to figure out how to install wheels on someone's ass so they can be pulled like a duck string-toy), I have decided to come share with you.

Sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference between wants and needs.

Unfortunately, the wants are becoming a little overwhelming, and are perhaps leading to errors in judgement. It bleeds into need. And unfulfilled need begets psychosis.

I don't currently have a turnip growing out of my forehead, but I might as well have.

Fear me, for I have power tools!

Could I have made the wrong decision? It wasn't like I had a lot of choice. I could have simply said no, and it would have ended that particular branch of history. But resentment would have built, festering like some emotional abcess. And really, I sould be strong enough to handle it.
But now I have had a number of unfavorable comparisons made. And I'm not handling it particularly well.

I would like to be the best at something, even if that is being myself. It sucks when someone else is better at it than you are.

So it flares up like riding inside a huge tornado. What do I need? What do I want? Concrete feet? A Trip to adventureland? To be the boy in the bubble?

Is it bad to show your vacation pictures to a maximum-security prison inmate who is in for life?

Sometimes it just smells wrong.

I can't decide whether I'm weak or strong, whether I'm selfish or selfless, whether to shit or wind my watch. And I don't even own a watch.

If I were fruit, I would be fermenting. And yes, if you prick me, I do bleed. I just may not bleed in front of you.

Desire is a two-edged sword disguised as a streetcar.
  • Current Music
    voices in my head
insane

(no subject)

1. What do you do for a living?
I am a contract engineer, AKA mercenary, AKA whore.

2. What do you like most about your job?
The money.

3. What do you like least about your job?
Pretty much everything else.

4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____...
Somebody else did something stupid and I have to fix it.

5. What other career(s) are you interested in?
Filmmaking, Margarita tester, toymaker.
insane

(no subject)

Many things happening in the world. I am in a hiding mood, and I have a large project to get underway, so I shall proceed to hide and get it underway. Nyah.
  • Current Music
    I'd tell you but
insane

Boy, does this fit.

My Inner Hero - Wizard!



I'm a Wizard!


There are many types of magic, but all require a sharp mind and a cool head. There is no puzzle I can't solve, no problem I can't think my way out of. When you feel confused or uncertain, you can always rely on me to untangle the knots and put everything back in order for you.



How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.