December 26th, 2004

insane

(no subject)

Wow-- quickie update, since I'm really tired right now.

I've been away from the computer for three days. Lots of backlog.

Heat is working in the house. More of a story on that later.

I have wonderful friends. Some of them are also very sexy.

Revelations of a sort abound in my head, not enough time to get them all down.

Had a nice time with Mom.

I cried. I figured it would get to me at some point. I was right.

I love my dog a lot.

I have much that I need to get out of my head. Next week.

Love to you all.
insane

(no subject)

Back in Des Moines, with boxes full of leftovers. I got most of the perishables in the refrigerator, though I nibbled on a few when I got home.

Did not do presents this year. Choice for a couple of reasons, money (or the lack thereof) being right up there. The other big one was being rather in denial during the holiday season, trying to keep my head down and buried so as not to have to deal with the whole being alone part. Though my Mom was down so I wasn't technically alone, I think you get the drift.

I was doing fine until Christmas day, watching Big Fish. Kick ass movie, but it sent me into a whole tizzy of self-doubt. I spent a good couple of hours wondering if I was really making the right decision, wondering if I was just being selfish, wondering this, wondering that.

Late night Saturday, I ended up chatting with a friend for a couple of hours. We got kinda deep into some things, and she told me something that made my ego become rather engorged. It was a good thing, even though I know that it was exactly what she meant to do. I am so easily manipulated. :)

Maybe more later.