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October 14th, 2005

Oct. 14th, 2005

Feeling like I need a change in my life. Something new and fresh. Problem is I don't know what. So, I'm taking suggestions:

Poll #590445 I need a change

What should I change in my life?

Dye your hair (what color?)
0(0.0%)
Get a tattoo
2(11.8%)
Another piercing that's visible to the general public
0(0.0%)
Another piercing that's more private
0(0.0%)
Consider dating men
0(0.0%)
Commit a crime (specify):
0(0.0%)
Start making porn
2(11.8%)
Go to a sleazy strip club
0(0.0%)
Ask me out on a date
0(0.0%)
Ask me out on a date to a sleazy strip club
0(0.0%)
Drink heavily
0(0.0%)
Become a monk
1(5.9%)
New shoes are always good
1(5.9%)
Something that involves personal lubricant
0(0.0%)
[other] (specify)
3(17.6%)




Zen Judaism

Excerpted from the book, "Zen Judaism" by David
Bader:

April 11, 2005

If there is no self,
whose arthritis is this?


Be here now.
Be someplace else later.
Is that so complicated?


Drink tea and nourish life.
With the first sip... joy.
With the
second... satisfaction.
With the third... peace.
With the fourth... a
danish.


Wherever you go, there you are.
Your luggage is another story.


Do not wish for perfect health
or a life without problems.
What would
you talk about?


In a previous life, you never called,
you never wrote, you never
visited.
And whose fault was that?


It takes effort to attain nothingness.
And then what do you
have?
Bupkes.


Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Forget this and
attaining Enlightenment
will be the least of your problems.


Let your mind be as a floating cloud.
Let your stillness be as the wooded
glen.
And sit up straight. You'll never meet the
Buddha with such rounded
shoulders.


To Find the Buddha, look within.
Deep inside you are ten thousand
flowers.
Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
Each blossom has ten
thousand petals.
You might want to see a specialist.


To practice Zen and the art of Jewish
motorcycle maintenance, do the
following:
get rid of the motorcycle.
What were you thinking?


Be aware of your body.
Be aware of your perceptions.
Keep in mind that
not every physical
sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.


The Torah says,"Love thy neighbor as thyself."
The Buddha says there is no
"self."
So, maybe you are off the hook.


The Buddha taught that one should practice loving
kindness to all sentient
beings. Still, would it kill you
to find a nice sentient being who happens to
be Jewish?

Five tips for a woman...





  1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.



  2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.


  3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.



  4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.


  5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Lo! Who is that, prowling across the candy store! It is Rob, hands clutching an oversized scalpel! He cries ominously:

"I'm going to flog you with such wanton cruelty, you will polymorph into a popsicle!!"

Find out!
Enter username:
Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

I find it tremendously interesting that the top two suggestions for me is "make porn" and "get new shoes".

I have interesting friends...

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