The Illusionist

Weird twisted dreams. Disturbing in a funky half-human/half-robot kind of way.

Tough going today. I don't know if it's the cold or what, but my hands feel like they were stepped on by Nazi Mistresses in high-heel boots, and they just ache today. Ache to the point of having difficulty doing things like typing and opening bottles of ibuprofen.

Really, everything aches, but my hands seem to be bearing the brunt of it.

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Friday I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). In March I farted in an elevator (-6 points). Last month I gave dracut a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). In October I pulled jmanna's hair (-5 points). In September I put money in vwbuglover's expired parking meter (14 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-10 points). For Christmas I deserve to be punished by a Swedish Bikini Mistress! Sincerely, magicmarmot

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

You must like to spank or be spanked, because your
romance is remeniscent of Secretary. A truly
modern love story, it shows that you don't need
to be conventional to be normal. You're
probably the type that owns a whole lot more
leather than what's upholstering your car or
sofa. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Plus, you're great in bed.


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Watching "The Pieman" episode of The Simpsons.

Now I want a Pecan Pie, really really bad.