Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

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On secret crushes

I sometimes have secret crushes. They are not the "OMIGOD I'm so in love" kind of crush-- they are more of an attraction. Like my current fave: Angelina Jolie. If she were to come up to me and say "I want you, right here, right now", I definitely wouldn't turn her down. Likewise Brittany Murphy.
But to cut a little closer to home, there are a couple of friends of mine that I have these little crushes on. I went to dinner with one of them earlier today-- actually I went over to her apartment to bleed her radiators and hang out, and dinner was a nice bonus. She's really hot, intelligent, fun to be with, and quirky enough to be interesting. And as a date, it was really nice. We had interesting conversation, and a sweet hug at the end.

And she's completely unavailable.

(One of the clues was when I used the phrase "balls to the wall", and she had never heard it before. I told her it was a lot like "Pedal to the metal", and she hadn't heard that one either.)

And I realized that that is one of the key elements to my crushes. Women that are completely unavailable are safe.

I think it has to do with rejection. I know I'm going to be rejected, and the reasons have nothing to do with anything that can injure my ego. Being rejected by a woman who is available and looking but doesn't find me attractive enough is painful. But when they go out of the way for the burn, it's just horrific. Such rejections as:

  • Laughter. Like laughing so hard she can't breathe.

  • Calling her friends over to join in the laughter.

  • Just staring. No talking. Slowly a look of horror comes across her face.

  • Vomiting.

  • "Sorry, I only date within my species."

  • "Excuse me, I have to go milk my goat."

  • "If you were the last man on earth, I'd rather fuck a rock."

So what's your favorite rejection burn?

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