1. Do you have a tattoo?
Not on me.
2. How old are you?
Somewhere between "youthful appearance" and "wow, you're old".
3. Are you single or taken?
Those are the only two choices? Then single.
4. Eat with your hands or utensils?
I eat with my mouth. I accessorize with utensils.
5. Do you dream at night?
Only if I'm sleeping.
6. Ever seen a corpse?
I make corpses, baby.
7. Jimi Hendrix or Eric Clapton?
8. How did we meet?
Remember a few years ago when you were on the lam from the pigs and I had a crush for your digger? That was a half-Nelson, let me tell you. What a roll.
9. Whats your philosophy on life and death?
Live until you die.
10. If you could do anything with me, and have no one know, what would it be?
Did you say with or to?
And by "no one", does that mean you as well?
11. Do you trust the police?
About as far as I can throw them with a trebuchet.
12. Do you like Country music?
I like Hank Williams, Johnny Cash, Real bluegrass, and a few others. Mostly no.
13. What is your fondest memory of me?
Waking up with you in the morning with the sun pouring through the window, the slight breeze through the curtains, and that mad pile of cash on the table that made me realize that we had done it: we had pulled off the caper of a lifetime.
That was before you sold me out, you vicious bitch. And I'll tell you that I admire the finesse it took to pull that off, right before I kill you.
14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
My net worth.
15. Would you cheat ?
Would I get caught?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
A tuxedo of pain.
17. Have you ever peed in a pool?
Yes, I make a habit of it. The neighbors hate me.
18. Would you hide evidence for me if I asked you to?
As long as it didn't involve anything going into my ass, probably.
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
Save the world, or shave a walrus.
20. Which do you prefer - short or long hair?
Long hair is easier to pull.
21. Do you sing in the shower?
I could actually draw you a Venn diagram to show you how the answer to this question is rife with complexity.
22. What's your favorite color?
23. If you could bring back anyone that has passed, who would it be?
Jesus. Let's set the record straight then, shall we?
24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you?
I know how to fly a single-engine plane.
25. What was your first impression of me?
That you walked like a snow leopard about to pounce on her dinner, grace and power held in an almost silent stillness. Then you farted and broke the illusion.
26. Have you ever done drugs?
Have I ever!
27. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?