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Apr. 26th, 2012

It finally happened. It had to, really.

I was in the bottom two cut from LJ-Idol this week.

I made it to the top 50, from some rather larger number earlier, which ain't bad. My technical ranking would be 48th, if it matters.

The more important thing is that I learned a lot about myself as a writer.

I can write, and I can write well. I'm not perfect, but I'm a whole lot more confident in my abilities than I was before I started.

I never really understood the whole game/competition aspect. There are nuances and foibles and narflings that escape me like a greased penguin at a polar bear picnic. I never really treated it like anything other than a challenge to write something every week, to try and push my own boundaries a little in the process, to edge into places where I was not feeling particularly comfortable or competent.

And I know that I'm not a perfect writer. But dammit, I wrote. Every week. And some of it was even passably good, especially for one-sitting first draft stories. They've all been presented as unedited. I did spellcheck most of them, though a few things got by me from time to time.


I feel bad that I didn't make it farther. The last piece I did was the longest, the most complete, the one that I think had the most flow. It had an internal logic and structure, and used several subtextual devices to help promote the story. Primarily I feel bad that my ego didn't get stroked more.

But I'm also aware that stroking my ego isn't really always the healthiest thing for me. Done too much, it can leave callouses, or at least open sores.

I will write more. Not every week for a while. I need to pay attention to other things.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 27th, 2012 04:56 am (UTC)
you are an excellent writer and you did very well.
and plus i love you.
Apr. 27th, 2012 05:26 am (UTC)
Thanks, Jams.
Apr. 27th, 2012 05:02 am (UTC)
try a book. Send it random house. I'm serious
Apr. 27th, 2012 05:25 am (UTC)
A book? Like a novel?

First, there's a whole lot of learnerization and frocumuling between where I am now and a fucking novel.

Second, I need to work with an editor.

Third... Fuck. A novel. We're talking somewhere around 100,000 - 200,000 words, all heading toward a structure, detail, and claim.

I'm still working on being able to go more than a chapter.
Apr. 27th, 2012 05:59 am (UTC)
you already know how

no working on, just do

something like that
Apr. 27th, 2012 08:22 pm (UTC)
:( I was very sad to wake up this morning and see you were gone, especially since we're doing another intersection and I really really really wanted to work with you this time around. I loved your last story - Lovecraftian horror for the win! I do hope you'll keep writing, and that if you want to collaborate on something, you'll drop me a line.
Apr. 28th, 2012 12:26 am (UTC)
You're a great writer. Don't accept criticism, unless it makes you better. You've honed your craft. You know where you keep your sharpest weapons. I think, at this point in your 'career' it's more about appealing to your audience, if that's what you want to do.

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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