Sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference between wants and needs.
Unfortunately, the wants are becoming a little overwhelming, and are perhaps leading to errors in judgement. It bleeds into need. And unfulfilled need begets psychosis.
I don't currently have a turnip growing out of my forehead, but I might as well have.
Fear me, for I have power tools!
Could I have made the wrong decision? It wasn't like I had a lot of choice. I could have simply said no, and it would have ended that particular branch of history. But resentment would have built, festering like some emotional abcess. And really, I sould be strong enough to handle it.
But now I have had a number of unfavorable comparisons made. And I'm not handling it particularly well.
I would like to be the best at something, even if that is being myself. It sucks when someone else is better at it than you are.
So it flares up like riding inside a huge tornado. What do I need? What do I want? Concrete feet? A Trip to adventureland? To be the boy in the bubble?
Is it bad to show your vacation pictures to a maximum-security prison inmate who is in for life?
Sometimes it just smells wrong.
I can't decide whether I'm weak or strong, whether I'm selfish or selfless, whether to shit or wind my watch. And I don't even own a watch.
If I were fruit, I would be fermenting. And yes, if you prick me, I do bleed. I just may not bleed in front of you.
Desire is a two-edged sword disguised as a streetcar.