Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

  • Mood:
  • Music:


Some amazingly low energy today. First of all, I didn't wake up until 2:00. After six months of getting up at 5:00 AM to drive to Owatonna, by body is rejecting mornings. This means that I am all screwed up, and awake at 3:00 in the morning.

But back to today. When I woke up, I almost didn't get out of bed because I was so lethargic. I managed to drag my ass out of bed and get showered, and after putting some Bad Frozen Chicken Patties­® in the oven, I managed to work up enough energy to crawl up the ladder and hammer a piece of trim back into place. Came in long enough to watch Judge Judy, then walked the dog. Part way through the walk, I almost started hallucinating, and had to cut it short to get home and lay down.

Not the flu. At least I don't think so. I was able to eat some chunky soup, and haven't been overly intestinally challenged, and I really haven't been overly social lately anyway, so I don't know from where I would have been exposed. I do have type 2 diabetes, so it could be related to my body's ability to process glucose, or it could be something else.

I am also taking antidepressant medication. Celexa to be precise. I've been on it for several months now, and the results are interesting.

First of all, the voices in my head have stopped screaming. I say that semi-jokingly, but the reality is that I was having a lot of panicky stuff going on, and one of the symptoms was obsessing over the bad things happening in my life. I'm also less paranoid; I noticed this when I was just at a local cafe sitting atthe counter, and I missed feeling like everyone was watching me. And Barb has mentioned more than once how much easier I am to get along with when we're working on projects together.

But there are downsides. My sex drive is diminshed. My creativity has changed-- it's not gone, but it is different. I can't describe how exactly; it might be the loss of obsession.

But now it's 3 in the morning, and I'm not sleepy at all. I'm not energetic; the thought of actually doing anything is abhorrent. Sitting and typing and listening to Soul Coughing is enough. I'm very warm, and I've had to open the window to cool off.

Gosh, maybe I am getting sick.

Barda lent me some of her industrial-sized comics to read. I got to see more of Hellboy, which I love-- the idea of motile, talking skeletons so turns me on-- although I would like to see a deeper story. And I have yet to read "From Hell".

Barb was nice enough to do a mass-rental of bad horror films so that I may be entertained and inspired. By a weird quirk, three of 'em are vampire-oriented films, which is kind of the core genre of Stone Soup. So call it research. That's what I'm gonna do so I can justify sitting on my ass for 15 hours watching DVDs and listening to commentary.

And hey, I just got a ping on my job detector. An embedded software engineer for a company that does digital film storage systems. Cool! Electronic resumes are so easy to send...

Silliness: in a fit of home-improvement-itis, I installed a motion sensor for the light in the studio bathroom. For those of you who haven't been in the house-that-is-the-perpetual-home-improvement-project, the studio is a large converted room upstairs, somewhere around 18 by 25 feet, with what had once been a closet converted into a bathroom, and badly. And no, I didn't do the work, it came this way. And it came without a light switch. For a considerable time, I had a light fixture that you had to turn on and off by tripping the GFCI test button; I eventually put in a secondhand table lamp that has a light switch on it, after I had to replace the GFCI because it was worn out. So anyway, I installed a motion detector, which I thought would be cool: the light would come on when you came into the bathroom, and turn off when you leave.

The thing I didn't count on is that the motion detector has a small reset period. So every three minutes, the light goes off for about five seconds. Which isn't too bad, except that I read in the bathroom, and three minutes is enough time for me to get really involved in the story.

I also added a rope light as a kind of night light. It's purple-- got it at a post-Halloween clearance sale-- and it's just enough to see by.

I like rope lights. I also managed to pick up a couple of orange ones at the same sale, and I have one up in the studio kind of outlining my control booth. It's really nice lighting: just enough to see by, but not so much as to be distracting, and the way I have it draped, it doesn't reflect off of the screen of any of the monitors. And it's really soft. No harsh shadows, which is very aesthetically pleasing.

I am planning on moving the control room over into the other room, so the major studio room will be available for shooting from one end to the other. It's probably a good time to start with that project soon, because it will soon be too cold to be working outside, and there is some heavy work to be done to make that happen, like destruction, carpentry, wiring, and such. Of course, some of the creative projects coming up mean the studio will have to stay together for a while.

And I think I need more comfortable furniture.
Tags: depression, unemployment

  • (no subject)

    It finally happened. It had to, really. I was in the bottom two cut from LJ-Idol this week. I made it to the top 50, from some rather larger…

  • Mayville

    "Too many bats in the belfry, eh?" The question came from a small man in the scrubs-and-robe garb of an inmate. He looked a little like a garden…

  • LJ-Idol

    Another batch of entries. Consistently amazed at how good the writing is. Voting is open for…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment