Tom Ramcigam (magicmarmot) wrote,
Tom Ramcigam

On sex

They say that you either have sex, or think about it.

I've been doing a lot of thinking.

One thing that I learned from my ex-wife is that sex does not have to be tied to an emotional relationship, at least for me. I certainly appreciate having a regular partner that can learn all of your ins and outs (so to speak), but that doesn't mean that I have to be tied in a relationship with them.
Note that the converse is true. Just because I'm in a relationship does not mean that I'm having sex with that person.
But I like to.

For me, sex is primarily about intimacy. It's a time where I can let my guard down, a time when I can relax and play and share and trust. It's not serious time.

Other people attach different levels of importance to sex. I know a couple of people who believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong, and one or two that think of sex as a duty or as a tool for reproduction.

Who is more enlightened?

Not being in a relationship anymore, I really miss intimacy. That is probably the single biggest downside to being alone.

But can I achieve intimacy without being in a relationship? Can I be more open to friends, and trusting and playful? Can I achieve a level of emotional intimacy without losing my heart in the process?

And what about physical intimacy? I can get hugs from friends, which is nice, but there are very few friends with whom I could get naked and spend time just caressing each other.

Incidentally, if you fall into this category, let me know. :)

I have chosen to remain single & celibate for a period of time. It was a conscious decision, because I have a lot of personal issues to deal with coming out of a long-term relationship, and I want to deal with them in my own space. But I also want to be more open, and more emotionally available so that I can learn to be a better person.

Now, since you are reading this, I can assume that you either have an interest in sex and sexuality, or that you just want to hear about the sordid details of my icky.

So here's a question: how do emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, and sex tie together for you?

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